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August 04, 2014

Blog Journal 48: The Apology Letter

Okay, so some updates first before we get to the important part:

Batman Arkham City: I'm pleased to say that not only has the game finished downloading, but I've also finished the main story of the game and am currently going through the side missions before finalising the review and scheduling it for next week.

System Shock 2: Eesh, I'm taking a bit of a breather from this one. It gets pretty tense after "the reveal." But not to worry, I will resume the game after finishing up with Arkham City!

Blog: Okay, here's where I feel the need to purge myself of the past.

I've gone through the many posts on my site and it's shocking to me how far we've come, not only as a blog, but personally as well. I started this blog off still reeling from a major loss and proceeded to lay the foundations for what would later become KVR Gaming.

Back in the day, I got extremely excited when I received an actual comment because not only was it encouraging, it was also nice to have contact with an actual person in the midst of severe loneliness.

Many reviewers came and went, some on less than amicable terms. We also had many nasty comments, especially in the blog's early form where I was much more judgmental of games with "occultic themes" and "suggestive material."

I specifically received a very hurtful comment about us being like a "cult." While I reacted in pride towards the person in question, inwardly it was very freeing because the fact of the matter was...the person was right. We did judge. We were like a cult. And worst of all, we didn't love.

Nonetheless, the comment didn't gel very well with me, because we were sitting on a high pedestal judging everyone around us for their choice in games when the best thing was exactly what I felt inside my heart: To provide them with the necessary information so they can make their own decisions...not so that we can make the decisions for them.

It's comforting being on that high pedestal, but once you step off it and start seeing people who don't believe in the Gospel, the last thing I wanted to do is judge the people in question. They need love, not hate.

To the reviewers who came and went during the long process up until now, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being a tyrant and trying to force my opinion on you. I have no right to judge and yet I still did.

Regarding all the promises I made about posts and never getting around to writing them, let me just say that all promises are off. From now on, actions will speak louder than words. For heaven's sake, I promised an article on my Modern Warfare 3 review almost three years ago and never made it!

And last but not least, to the person who called us a cult of nodding heads who want to destroy other people's opinions, thank you. It was the best thing that ever happened to me and the blog as a whole.

One last thing: When you browse through the blog and see the many posts, varying levels of judgment and all, just know that they written through heavy amounts of pain. Those posts were written by a person desperate to discover his true meaning, and I'm glad to say that they helped that person greatly.

I wanted to change many lives when I started with the blog, but the life that changed the most of anyone who was involved with, was me, the very namesake of KVR Gaming itself. And for that, this blog will forever be treasured by me...even when I'm too old and ugly to remember what the freaking abbreviation meant.

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