August 21, 2013

Saints Row: The Third Areas of Concern

Well, they ain't no Saints, that's for sure......

WARNING: This review contains Mature Subject Matter. PARENTAL GUIDANCE ADVISED


A bunch of gangsters in purple decide it's time to cause havoc in a city, and get mad when people start to complain....

Release Date: November 2011.

Platforms: Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, PC.

Publisher: THQ. (Rest in piece!)

Developer: Volition, Inc.

Areas of Concern:


Mild Moderate Heavy Very Heavy Extreme Ban-worthy

General Violence:

--Several people are shot: Blood sprays out, staining the environment and splotches of blood are shown on the victims; they spasm in pain and screams are heard.

You can also take people hostage and use them as human shields, with blood spraying when they get hit.

--Hand-to-hand combat is depicted: Several kicks and punches are shown, with blows to the head, abdomen, groin, and so on, all with blood spurting and cries of pain. Some blows are shown in slow-motion. 

--You obtain a chainsaw and can use it to kill your enemies: Your character hacks viciously, with blood bursting out and staining the environment with bloody chunks of flesh spraying everywhere.

-You can brandish blunt and sharp objects to fend off foes with; blood spurts out and cries of pain are heard.

--You can use vehicles to run over people; they are sent flying, and blood splatters all over the environment. Vehicles can also be destroyed, sending anyone nearby flying and wreckage is strewn across the environment.

--You can throw grenades or shoot explosive projectiles, sending enemies flying with explosions being shown. You can shove a grenade into a giant enemy's mouth, and it explodes, blowing his head off with blood spurting.

Your character can also shoot the giant in the head several times, resulting in his head being blown off as well.

-You can use a "Sonic Boom" weapon to shoot objects and enemies; when enemies are shot, they explode into bloody chunks, staining the environment. 

Storyline Violence: 

--The game opens with a man getting punched and kicked by a gang, blood spurting out of his mouth. He then proceeds to kick and punch them, sending the gang members flying.

--A man is stabbed through the stomach with a giant stalagmite, with blood bursting out. 

--A man is stabbed in the stomach and his head is shoved through an airplane window. His attacker throws a knife at one of his henchman, hitting him in the head. Blood is shown.

--A woman is grabbed by a giant man, and her neck is snapped with a crack being heard.

--There are several sequences where explosions go off, destroying the environment, and strewing wreckage everywhere.

--One mission has your character throwing himself into traffic in order to damage cars, with blood splattering all over the environment as he comically bounces around.


Mild Moderate Heavy Very Heavy Extreme Ban-worthy

--During the course of the game, we see several scantily clad women showing buttocks and cleavage. Some of the women wear only scant bras, pasties and g-strings.

--The game features a weapon called "The Penetrator", a purple dildo on a stick which you can use to slap enemies around with.

--One mission has you picking up a woman who engages in sexual activity with a female prostitute in the back of your car.

(Apologies if this is a bit graphic.)

Some suggestive lines are uttered, like: "Doesn't your tongue get tired", "It's double-headed. And it vibrates!", "I didn't know that felt good. Do that to me again!", "Wow, you got me wet all over!", and so on.

-At one point, we see a woman in a thong straddling a man with the camera lingering, but they are interrupted. Later on in the game, a man smokes a cigarette whilst reclining, and we see several scantily clad women lying around him, asleep, obviously after "he had his way" with them.

-You are tasked with helping a man get his "trade on". (Sex trafficking) by picking up prostitutes and delivering them to the aforementioned pimp.

--A mission takes place in a BDSM club: We see several people dressed in leather and the typical costumes, we hear the sounds of people being whipped and a man responds enthusiastically to getting interrogated. A television in this place also shows a naked woman with rear nudity being shown. 

A man makes a remark about his hands being on the floor and they were "a bit sticky".

--You can customise your character's appearance: You can make them go naked, but all the sensitive parts are "pixelated" (Censored). You can also put clothes from both genders on your character, making them cross-dress. 

-At one point, a giant enemy is shown naked, with pixellation to cover his genitals, but you can see his buttocks in full view for an extended time. The man says he can help your gang, but one team member remarks: "The last time a big naked dude said he could help me, it didn't end well...."

--Blow-up dolls are featured in the game as collectables.


Mild Moderate Heavy Very Heavy Extreme Ban-worthy

Very Frequent Uses of F**k, S**t, P**sy, Wh**e, D**k, Pr**k, A*s, P**s, B**ch, H**l, and D**n.

Racial Slurs: The song "Power" by Kanye West is featured in the game, and features uses of N***er.

--God and Jesus' names are used in vain.

Spiritual Content: 

Mild Moderate Heavy Very Heavy Extreme Ban-worthy


-Fleur-de-lis. (Roman Catholic Symbol)

-Five point star. (Pentagram: Commonly associated with Satanism)

-Skull. (Death)

-Black and white checkerboard floor. (Freemason Symbol.)

--In a virtual world, a man's "avatar" is that of an angel winged beast and he remarks that he is "God". 


Mild Moderate Heavy Very Heavy Extreme Ban-worthy 

--A woman mentions that she was "really high" the last time she was in a particular city, and she talks about "scoring weed".

--A scene takes place in a bar, and we see some people drinking. Later on, we hear a man talking drunkenly in a phone conversation.

--A man smokes a cigarette. 

Gross Stuff/Crude Humour:

--A man jokes that his gang traded their "D***s in for p***ies."

--A woman sarcastically remarks that two men should put in their "tampons" and keep moving.

--You earn points for hitting enemies in their "peculiars". These are referred to as "Nut Shots" and "Testicular Manslaughter".

--At one point during the story, zombies are featured. (Yes, zombies....In Saints Row The Third. This is not a typo.) They are covered with blood and have pale skin.

--You can throw a bottle of "Fart in a Jar" at enemies, which stuns them and flatulence noises can be heard. 


Abysmal Bad So-so Okay Good Very Good

Not very good. Whilst the game is cartoonish and darkly humourous, you are playing as a remorseless criminal and the game glorifies a life of crime. 


-Life of crime/gangs: Obviously a major theme in the game. Life in a gang is portrayed to be "Cool" and "Superawesomefantasticular", if you catch my drift, dawg. (Urgh, I'm never saying that again.....)

-Glorification of Violence: Not to sound like a "Moral Guardian" but this game clearly promotes violence as an effective problem solver. May be justified by the fact that it's a parody.

-Human cloning: This makes a brief appearance in the game, but beyond your team members making some disgusted remarks about the idea, this is fairly superficial.

-Martial Law/Ratting Out Your Neighbours: The game seems to poke fun at American paranoia by joking about people spying on their neighbours, reporting them to the police, and so on. A bit too specific to be coincidental.

Thoughts & Impressions:

I'll keep this brief, as this is an Areas of Concern and not a review.

Saints Row The Third contains numerous funny jokes, entertaining sequences and it looks to be quite a joy to play. The story is weak, but that doesn't matter anyways because it doesn't need one to begin with.

But does the entertainment of the game justify it's content? Eh.....

The biggest concern about the game is the frequent sexual references and off-screen sexual content, which is far too graphic for me to recommend this in a good conscience.

In fact, I was going to give this a Not Recommended, but after some consideration, is there anything really "good" in this game? Well, I honestly can't say for 100% sure, but it doesn't seem like it at all.

The walkthrough I watched was conclusive enough. I don't see any benefit for a Christian to play this game, and that's why this game is:



For Graphic Sexual References and Content.


So there you go. This AOC was requested, and so I hope that whoever requested is pleased with the end result. Please tell if you need more detail, and I may look at buying the game and 100 percent-ing the Areas of Concern for you.

Until next time!

Writer Bio:

Kyle van Rensburg is the Editor-in-Chief of Kyle's Christian Video Game Reviews. (KGR) He likes cookies.

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