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August 22, 2013

GTA V: To Do, or not to Do?


Well, the ESRB released their rating for Grand Theft Auto V today. Let's just say it's not a game I'd like to own by any means.

Does that mean you're not getting a review? Uh, no. I think an Areas of Concern is not out of the question at all. If the content is as graphic as the ESRB rating summary lines out, it's already a ban.

But you know me, I give games a chance regardless of that. Here's the summary: (WARNING: Graphic.)

"In this open-world action game, players assume the role of three criminals whose storylines intersect within the fictional city of Los Santos. Players can switch between each character to follow his storyline, completing missions which often include criminal activities (e.g., stealing cars, executing heists, assassinating targets). Players use pistols, machine guns, sniper rifles, and explosives to kill various enemies (e.g., rival gang members); players also have the ability to shoot non-adversary civilians, though this may negatively affect players' progress as a penalty system triggers a broad police search. Blood-splatter effects occur frequently, and the game contains rare depictions of dismemberment. In one sequence, players are directed to use various instruments and means to extract information from a character; the sequence is intense and prolonged, and it involves some player interaction (i.e., responding to on-screen prompts). The game includes depictions of sexual material/activity: implied fellatio and masturbation; various sex acts that the player's character procures from a prostitute—while no nudity is depicted in these sequences, various sexual moaning sounds can be heard. Nudity is present, however, primarily in two settings: a topless lap dance in a strip club and a location that includes male cult members with exposed genitalia in a non-sexual context. Within the game, TV programs and radio ads contain instances of mature humor: myriad sex jokes; depictions of raw sewage and feces on a worker's body; a brief instance of necrophilia (no nudity is depicted). Some sequences within the larger game allow players to use narcotics (e.g., smoking from a bong, lighting a marijuana joint); cocaine use is also depicted. Players' character can, at various times, consume alcohol and drive while under the influence. The words “f**k,” “c*nt,” and “n**ger” can be heard in the dialogue."

.....You can kinda see why I don't want the game, right?

And this is where an Areas of Concern is much better in my mind, because nudity will be censored out and I don't actually bring the game into my home.

So yes, Grand Theft Auto V will get an Areas of Concern, that's for sure, (Provided the walkthroughs don't get taken down.) but a full review is out of the question for me.

Unless somebody gifts me the game, of course.

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