April 29, 2013

Moses, Escape from Egypt.

Hello everyone! I would like to introduce you to a little game which was sent to me by the name of Moses, Escape from Egypt.

I recommend you head over and maybe give the developer some advice and support his efforts. We need high quality Christian games in the world so please do help him.

Buy the game for the small price if you want, and review it on his site for him. Give him advice, whatever you can do to help out. :)


Yo dudes! We're going to travel back in time a bit, know what I'm saying? Maybe go check out the rad hairstyles they had back in those days, yo?

Okay, don't worry. I'm not going to speak like that for the whole post. Don't go, please? Okay cool. :)

On Wednesday, we will go back in time a little bit, and take a look at one of my favourite games of all time. I'm not going to ruin the surprise for you, but be sure to check in on Wednesday!

In other news, my secret project, which I may have leaked, is coming along smoothly. It will be completed on my birthday, but I will have told you the whole story about it before then. So stay tuned for updates.

Also, feel free to request reviews, but just note that I am more focused on doing major releases. So whilst we are going back in time, leave me with some suggestions!

See you guys Wednesday!

April 26, 2013

How harsh are the verdicts on my site?

Friday Article:

How harsh are the verdicts on my site?


Recently I have come under fire for being a finger-wagging, gun-toting, fire and brimstone preacher who despises all games and the majority of said games reviewed on my site receive a BANNED rating.

...Which is completely inaccurate. I use a banned rating very sparingly, and will rather use a Not Recommended or a Mature Gamers Only.

In spite of this, even when I ban a game, am I being judgemental or fire and brimstone? Nope. I have no interest in judging other brothers and sisters in Christ. I will strongly warn them against playing certain games, and that's what a BANNED verdict is; a strong warning against a game.

At the end of the day, you have to make your own decisions, but remember, it's up between you and Jesus. Don't just snub your nose at what my site says, play a game, and then you have to later throw it away because the Holy Spirit convicts you to get rid of it.

Pray first. Always. And remember, I often feel I'm a bit too harsh or a bit too easy on certain games I've reviewed. (Resident Evil 6 is actually both of the aforementioned.)

Maybe the games I ban will have no effect in your life.
I'm not going to be arrogant ando say that they ALWAYS will affect you. Some games I just FEEL aren't right for you to play.

But, I remind you again, we have to keep ourselves clean. Remember, Satan also inspires people to make certain types of creatures or games, even if they may not be aware of it. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you what is in your life that you need to get rid of.

Some things are obvious. If you watch pornography, for example, you are inviting lust and perversion into your life, not to mention all kinds of unrealistic ideas and perceptions about sex.

Or the opposite, a cold cynical view of human relations as dirty and vulgar, where you hate the intimate act instead of the perversion surrounding it. I'm speaking from experience, so if you've felt this way, don't be ashamed. I know the feeling, but Jesus heals you.

I realise that I've went off course, but some things need to be said. Don't invite Satan into your life. Put Christ first before you buy whatever game, even when my site recommends it.

It's only Him. No one else.    

As I finish this article, I FEEL (Har har) that I need to conclude with a few key scriptures:

"Abstain from all appearance of evil." 1 Thessalonians 5:22

"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." Philippians 4:8

"I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside; it shall not cleave to me." Psalms 101:3

Please take these scriptures to heart, and always put Christ first in your life. God bless all of you. I'll see you guys next week. :)

April 24, 2013

Tomb Raider Areas of Concern

Alternate Title: That Game Which Uncharted Ripped Off.
*Runs for cover*

(BIG THANKS to Gerhard Short Jr. for his friendship and help with this review! He basically co-reviewed considering how much more fun he made the process. Thanks for the epic week too, Gerhard! :D)


Lara Croft, legendary explorer and, ahem, "Tomb raider" gets the origin story treatment in this gritty, dark, and sometimes brutal story. (Not that brutal, but it sounds good so let's just go with it!)

Shipwrecked on an unknown Japanese island, Lara has to fight for survival against the dangerous......things that are against her on this island.

(Actually just human enemies, but let's just roll with dangerous things since it sounds good!)

Will Lara overcome the odds and and conquer the island? Will she break down and give up, or will she push through and become the fighter she is destined to be?

Well, of course she will, because otherwise they couldn't make sequels and lots of money! But just to be sure.........

....Yeah, of course she lives. That's obvious. Dang it. I can't lie like a salesman can. -_-

Areas of Concern:


Mild Moderate Heavy Very Heavy Extreme Ban-worthy

General Violence:

Lots of bloody violence, shootings, stabbings, and neck-breakings. And some gory sequences.....

--Enemies can be shot: they flail around with the impact of bullets and blood sprays out and stains the environment. Cries of pain are heard.

-At certain stages, the game goes into slow motion with even more detail in the blood sprays.

-They can also get stabbed: Blood sprays out, staining their clothes, and cries of pain are heard. Lara can use her ax to slash enemies with, and we see blood spurting, Lara twists the ax around, and the enemies gurgle.

-Lara can also kill enemies by strangling them with her bow, choking being heard, and she also snaps their necks with a crack being heard.

--Lara can shoot explosive barrels which blow up and send enemies flying, setting them on fire in the process. This happens quickly. She can also set them on fire using fiery arrows; they flail around and yell in pain.

--We see a few environments where dead bodies and limbs lie, with lots of flesh, blood, and torn skin showing. Lara walks through the limbs and severed heads, which fall on top of her and around her at certain stages. We also see ragged pieces of bloody flesh, and it’s unknown if they belong to humans or animals.

--Lara can hunt and kill animals, they cringe in pain when shot with an arrow, and eventually collapse dead.

Storyline Violence: 

--A woman has a scuffle with a man, bites him in the neck, they fall on the ground, he drops his gun, and she grabs it and shoots him in the leg with blood spraying out in slow motion. He falls on top of her and wrestles with her.
She then shoots him in the head, with half of his face becoming bloody and we see him lie on the ground gurgling for a brief while before dying.

--In true Tomb Raider fashion, Lara undergoes a lot of injuries and deaths. Except this time, it’s not darkly comedic at best: Lara lands on a small piece of rebar near the beginning of the game, she screams in pain, and pulls it out with the screen going black and white.

-Lara steps on a bear trap, which snaps closed on her foot with blood spraying. We hear her anguished cries.

--A boulder falls on a man’s head, and we see him hit the ground with blood spraying out very briefly.

--A woman is attacked by a wolf, and she stabs it several times with a knife, blood spurting out, until it collapses dead.

--A man is stabbed with an ax, and eventually he is chopped in the head repeatedly, with blood squirting out for an extended period of time.

--The statue of a woman suddenly comes to life (See Spiritual Content) and her face rips apart with red flesh being shown underneath, her eyeballs pop out, and then finally she is stabbed in the shoulder with a torch. She screams horribly and then explodes.

--There are several sequences where explosions go off, wreckage is sent flying, the environment is set on fire, and people are knocked back by the blast.

-In the most intense sequence, a plane crashes and several pieces are sent flying as a woman tries to dodge them, and she slides down a cliff as wreckage rains around her with a lot of explosions being seen.

Player Deaths:

--Lara can get her legs crushed under a boulder, and then another boulder lands on her face, killing her. We see her face squashed underneath it.

--She can get shot in the leg and neck with an arrow, crying out in pain and writhing around on the ground, before finally dying.

--She can get impaled through the head by a pole whilst sliding down water rapids: We briefly see blood spray out, and see her struggle around whilst being impaled on the pole.


Mild Moderate Heavy Very Heavy Extreme Ban-worthy

--A man runs his hand down a woman’s thigh, she kicks him, and he shoves her up against a wall and tries to kiss her neck. She fends him off before he can do so.


Mild Moderate Heavy Very Heavy Extreme Ban-worthy

Infrequent Strong Language: Uses of F**k, S**t, B**t**d, B**ch, Bl**dy, A*s, P**s, H**l, and D**n.

--God and Jesus’ name are used in vain.

"Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain; for the Lord will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain." Exodus 20:7

Spiritual Content:

Mild Moderate Heavy Very Heavy Extreme Ban-worthy

--We see a cave filled with skulls, candles, and some images of demon-like creatures. This appears to be an altar built to them.

--A woman tells a story about an ancient Japanese queen who had shamanistic powers according to legend, which she used to summon storms. We also hear about temples being built for sun worship, and that people committed murders and sacrificing people in said temples.

We also hear that they sacrificed people through Fire Rituals, in which they burn women alive. Also later on you find out that people willingly offered up their bodies as “vessels” for the queen’s soul to be transferred into them.

We later see this in motion; a statue of the queen suddenly comes to life, screaming, and an electrical current comes out of her and into a woman who starts levitating. The transference is interrupted, however.

-We also see a few shrines built to her, where she sits in the meditative position.

--A woman says: “Thank God you’re alive!” to which a man replies “That god’s got nothing to do with it.”

--The big enemies of the game are demons called the Oni, who look like Samurai warriors, but much larger and more grotesque.

--We hear a few people praying to the Sun Queen, and they talk about submitting themselves unto her.

"3 Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.
Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;
And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments." Exodus 20

--We see the following symbols:

-Triskelion. (Reincarnation.)

-One eyed symbol. (Eye of Lucifer. Pretty self-explanatory.)

-Spirals. (Sun symbol.)

-Dragons. (Representative of Satan in Revelations.)

-Demon masks/Skulls. (Romance.)*

*(Death. Both represent death. I was trying to be funny. LAUGH, DANG IT!)


Mild Moderate Heavy Very Heavy Extreme Ban-worthy 

--We see a man drinking vigorously, whilst another man scolds him.

Gross Stuff/Gore:

Mild Moderate Heavy Very Heavy Extreme Ban-worthy

--A woman falls in an entire river of blood, and she comes out stained red with blood. This sequence is highly detailed.

-The sequences where you travel through caverns filled with rotting corpses are even more gross: Lara walks through the caverns and we see intestines, body parts, and lots of blood, and we hear squishing sounds as she walks around in the caverns.

"Squishing noises from rotting cadavers bringeth forth nausea....." Titus 4:3


Abysmal Bad So-so Okay Good Very Good

Lara is just trying to survive and kills people in self-defense. She stands up for her fellow survivors, and all that hero stuff. Pretty average, but okay. 

One thing that made me knock this up to "Good" is the fact that the creators went out of their way to make Lara three-dimensional and never once is she objectified or treated as a sex object, which is not a common thing in any work of art these days.

Thoughts & Impressions:

Why doesn't Lara just wear a jacket? She spends so much time in cold environments shivering, when this could have been easily avoided by just pillaging a "sleeping" enemy for his woolen sweater! But I digress.....

Tomb Raider has a good plot, even though it could have been a lot better due to the fact that all the other characters are flat and unlikable compared to the pretty........compelling Ms. Croft.

The adventure of the game looks very cool, and there are plenty of upgrades which also look to be useful.....

The visuals and voice acting are superb, with the environments being beautifully detailed. There are technical issues, like the characters sometimes looking plastic, but these are all minor and don't mar an otherwise wonderful production.

Of course, watching a playthrough doesn't give you everything about a game, but you can see if it's good or not. The game is very good, so it's unfortunate about the content.....

I'm going to clarify something: Do I believe that playing this game makes you an evil person? No, never. There are certain games which I will take you to task for playing, (Doom 1, 2, and 3, Manhunt 1 & 2) but I won't ever bash you in front of other people for it.

This game gets a BANNED from me. Period. But if you played this game, does it mean I'm condemning you? Of course not. Remember, I ban games based on if I feel they will give Satan a legal right in your life.

We Believers in Jesus need to live holy lives and keep ourselves clean all unrighteousness. That's why I use the term BANNED to let you know that it's best for you to stay away from the select game. After all, 1 Thessalonians 5:22 says "Abstain from all appearance of evil."

So there you go. I hope this debunks a myth about the ratings on my site.

Verdict: BANNED (X)

(For Occultic Material)


Let me just note something: Gears of War Judgement is not a high priority game for me now because it just seems to be a silly shooter with buckets of gore and may just get MA for that. I will still review it, but since there is a bit of space where no high-priority games are being released, we are going to turn back the clock a bit and review games from yesteryear.

I hope you guys enjoy! God bless. :)

PS: There is a fake Bible verse in this review. Most true believers will see it and get the joke, but in case you didn't.......eesh. Read more Bible. Please?

Writer Bio:

Kyle van Rensburg is the Editor-in-Chief of Kyle's Christian Video Game Reviews. (KGR) He likes cookies.