December 07, 2012

KVR Archive: The Walking Dead Season One (Video Game) REVIEW


What's poppin', players? Hawke here with the season overview of The Walking-

Kyle: ...Dead. Hawke, I told you not to eat cheese puffs WHILE TYPING ON MY KEYBOARD!

...Season One, where Telltale games-

...HAWKE! Get off the computer, now!

Hawke: Why? What are you going to do, throw me in jail?


Oh no, don't you dare! No, no, no no, no no no no no....

Kyle: Maximus. Time for this guy to go sit in the corner, if you know what I mean....  

Hawke: no no no no no---wait, who's Maximus?

Maximus: Name should comply with self positioned in your proximity. Greetings, as side note.

Hawke: ....A tin can? Seriously Kyle? You brought a piece of garbage in here?

Maximus: Self rejects label "garbage". Maximus prefers to be thought of as robot.

Hawke: ....okay then. So.....what you gonna do, eh? Talk me to death-

Maximus: *Pulls out Bazooka-Katana-Chainsaw-Machine Gun 6000*

Hawke: Ah, that's just a bunch of tainted milk, man!

*Maximus beats Hawke up, knocking him down on the floor*

...And now we can start.

Welcome everybody to the season review of The Walking Dead series of video games!

In this review, I will give my opinion on whether or not this is worth buying, and you will actually get my opinion on whether or not this is a good game. (Every instalment combined, that is.)

Areas of Concern:

The biggest problem, besides the blasphemy, is the violence. The first two episodes feature brutal dismemberments, the worst being a part where your character can chop a guy's leg off to free him from a bear trap. Spoilers: You. See. Everything. Including the muscle tendons. Delicious.

A few more incidents of violence (that I can remember at the moment) are a walker (zombie) getting chopped through the head with an ax several times, a walker getting it's brains smashed out with a hammer, and a man who had both his legs cut off flopping down stairs, revealing that his limbs were fried extra crispy and a few people accidentally ate some of the suspiciously crunchy meat.

But with the last three episodes, the developers got considerably more restrained with the violence, and focused instead on emotional brutality, particularly in the last instalment, Episode Five.

Just so sad, man! :(

Hawke: ...buck...up, you sissy.

Shut up! *Smacks him*'

So while the violence was the biggest issue, if you get past the first two instalments, the intensity lessens, and it becomes a Strong Caution. Don't get me wrong, there are some gory moments, but they at least they are not prolonged.

Sex/Nudity: A few mild references to rape, a doctor tells a woman to get her pregnancy "terminated". She refuses. It's later implied that a woman sleeps with another doctor so that she can get medicine for her sister.

Language: Lots of Strong Language used frequently, like F**k, S**t, and the rest of the best.

God and Jesus' names are used in vain infrequently, but that doesn't make it okay. I am by no means justifying this. There is no excuse for the blasphemy. I'm not going to throw a BANNED on it, but it does make me want to.

Spiritual Content:
A few people are Christians, one is a bit on the cuckoo side, the other is actually a caring but brash and aggressive guy. He also uses Jesus' name in vain, which is a bit of contradiction.

A woman also mentions she doesn't want to become a walker, because they are "satanic".

Speaking of which, do the zombies in this game have a supernatural origin? In short, no. The whole concept of a zombie may have originated from voodoo, but in this game they are just shambling cadavers.

(I do realise some of you may seek to ban the game because I mentioned zombies came from voodoo. I can understand that, but I'm not going to ban it because of that.

If you want to ban something, ban science and mathematics, because they both have their roots in alchemy and mysticism. You catch my drift?)

Morality: People are shown to make mistakes, and understandably do stupid things just so that they can survive. Much of your character's attitude is determined by the player, so if you want to be a jerk, you can be a jerk.

If you want to be nice, you can be nice. (Mostly) Overall, the morality is so-so.

Verdict: Extreme Caution (18+)

Yay, new category! But I only use the rating for a series like this, where some instalments are Not Recommended, and others are Strong Caution. Anyways, it's time for the review...

Review of Game:

In short, amazing. The team at Telltale Games have brought the Adventure genre back to the forefront, a massive achievement in it's own right.

What makes this game so special is the emotional value, the feelings you develop for these characters, and by the end, you may even shed a tear.

Okay, several of them, but let's move on from that decidedly unmanly topic.....

I can't speak about the actual gameplay, as I only watched the playthroughs, but even that's enough to experience the wonderful character driven story the developers have painstakingly crafted.

Here's the basic story, in case you are wondering: Lee Everett begins the game in handcuffs, driving in the back of a police car.

He has an idle chat with the police officer, before the car crashes into a walker, and Lee Everett finds himself in a world of trouble.

Along the way he meets Clementine, a cute little girl who you will adore. Seriously. Unless you hate kids, in which case I kindly ask you to leave my site and go sort yourself out. Please? Good.

Lee and Clementine team up with other survivors in order to survive. Hope is running short. Can you make it through the apocalypse? Can Lee Everett protect Clementine? Can he keep his morality intact?

Well, you're gonna have to to find all this out on your own, but just know that you're in for a brutal and gut-wrenching ride.

So there we go! Everything is all sorted out. The Walking Dead delivers on all fronts, except for some minor graphical problems, and not to mention a lot of gore in the first two episodes, but still, it delivers.

I hope you found all the reviews helpful. I can't wait for the second season of the video game to come out, but that's gonna be a while.

In the meantime, God bless you all, and have a great day! :P


Kyle: Shut up. 


Okay, special message time: I need help. Yes, you read that right. For Resident Evil 6 in particular, all four campaigns. Highly detailed.

If you think you can do it, and give it the proper verdict, email me at

In the meantime, I will try to finish it, but it's just a really long game and while I can do it, it's just taking a long time. 

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