August 22, 2012

KVR Archive: Assassin's Creed: Revelations R*EVIE$W

(Yes, the misspelling is deliberate.)

Assassin's Creed: Revelations is a 2011 Video Game released for the Xbox 360, Playstation 3, and the PC. I will only be focusing on the PC version.

Areas of Concern:

Obviously, a game with "Assassin" in the title is going to have a fair bit of violence. And when it happens, it's very bloody. But it's also quite brief.

Many occurrences of stabbings, shootings, falling/being thrown off of buildings, neck-snappings, limbs twisting and breaking, bombs, and people getting attacked whilst unarmed, are seen.

Victims are stained with blood, and sometimes the attacker is too.


When this happens, your character stabs, slices, and slits the throats of enemies, with blood spraying all round, and a slice being heard when he cuts their throats.

When he stabs them, blood is seen spurting and spraying. He stabs them through the chest, back, neck, legs, feet, head, and eyes. (The last bit is not really detailed, but still....their eyes.)

No, not the eyes!!!

Sometimes, Assassin performs moves like chopping the enemy straight in the middle of the head or shoulder, with an ax or a sword, and blood is seen, and then pulls it out. Sometimes, the weapon sticks in the enemy, and he has to pull it out. A bit gruesome, but no dismemberment occurs.

He can also throw axes, with the weapon hitting the enemy with blood spraying and the weapon sticking out of them.

He can also attack with a mace/hammer/pickax, and hit the enemy brutally, smacking them in the head, ribs, and legs. The enemy jerks around, and a thump sound is heard all of this happens, and blood is seen spurting. No dismemberment however.

With a spear, Assassin sometimes stabs the enemy straight through the stomach, with blood of course. He also slashes, and stabs them right through the stomach, impaling them and leaving the spear right there.

With a pickax, Assassin sometimes smacks them against the head three times in rapid succession, with blood and cracking being heard.

He also sometimes stabs an enemy, and then stomps on his face.

Sometimes, Assassin stabs the enemy through the face, smacks the sword, with the enemy's head spinning all the way around, and then he takes out the sword, with blood spraying. Quite brutal.

So brutal it's almost ridiculous.

He also stabs them through the chin, and lifts them off the ground. This is also a bit brutal.

He can also slit their throats, with blood spraying, and the enemy gurgles softly.

He can also jump on enemies, and stab them. 

Sometimes, whilst stabbing an enemy, he shoots them with a small gun hidden in his sleeve, blood spraying.

It should be noted that your character stabs the enemies in a weird kind of way, such as through and out the front side of their chests, or through the rear and out the leg. (Ouch.)

Sometimes, you can also stab them with a poison tipped blade; the enemy swings their weapon around wildly, going crazy, and then after a while they collapse, dead. They can hit people around them with said weapon while this is happening.

Much cracking and splats are heard as he fights enemies, but no dismemberment occurs, even if the way he slices them makes it look like there will be.

-Shootings: When somebody is shot, blood sprays briefly, and they cry out in pain. Blood stains the victim, and they clutch their wounds.

-Thrown off buildings: 

When enemies are killed by being thrown off buildings, they are seen going limp and collapsing, dead.

Your character can also stab enemies when he is hanging on the ledge of buildings; same thing as mentioned above, except that he sometimes throws them off said building.


 When this happens, Assassin jerks the head of the enemy, a crack being heard, and they fall over, their head a little twisted.


When enemies are attacked through unarmed combat, Assassin smacks them around quite a bit, with blood spurting. He can also headbutt, or give them a knee to the face or stomach. He can also stomp on them.


When you attack somebody with a bomb, they are sometimes killed and are flung aside as the bomb explodes, with a bit of blood.

Some bombs contain lamb's blood, so when they are detonated, the victim is spattered with blood, and they falsely believe themselves to be injured.

When you detonate these bombs, a large blood spray is seen, staining the environment and people around it.

-Limbs breaking/twisting:

Assassin sometimes smacks enemies' elbows and knees, dislocating the bones. This is not detailed at all, but it is something you may notice.

Storyline Violence: 

After you perform assassinations on targets, they are seen speaking with your character for a while and then dying.

Near the beginning, a cinematic shows an explorer getting stabbed, falling over, and blood flowing beneath the explorer.

Another cinematic shows the protaganist of the game searching for a treasure. He is shot in the shoulder with an arrow, bloodlessly, and is attacked by a swarm of enemies. He fends them off, with the aforementioned violence being seen.

A man grabs a rope, throws it around another man's neck, and then jumps off a building, the rope jerking after he falls for a while, and he twists it around a bit. At the top, we see the other man's head twisting a bit from a distance, implying it was snapped.

A man hangs onto a rope trailing behind a carriage. He is bumped around quite a bit on the rocks.

Two sequences depict carriages chasing each other; they bump into each other with wood flying as they destroy each other.

A carriage and a man fall off a cliff; he thuds against the cliff, and falls to the ground. He is seen injured afterwards.

A man throws his own henchman off a building at you; he hits a wooden stand, and falls to the ground off-screen.

A man throws a sword at another man; the sword is seen hitting him in the neck, with blood staining his clothes. This happens very quickly. 

A dead horse is seen lying on the ground, with arrows sticking out of it and a bit of blood. 

A few people are executed by being thrown off a building, and being shot by a crossbow.

A man jams the shaft of a banjo into a man's throat; blood is seen spurting, and staining the dead man.

A man's corpse is placed on a pyre, and set alight; this is not seen on detail, but you do see him burning for a while.

A man is thrown off a cliff; he is not injured.

A man is given seizures by a device; you see a shockwave, and the man yells in pain.

A man is shot in the head, blood spraying and staining a barrel beside him.

An explosion on a wooden bridge is seen, knocking a man back. 

A bunch of men in a boat fall down a waterfall, with some explosions happening behind them.

A man is forced to hold a knife to his own throat. A woman intervenes, he stabs her in the back, with a bit of blood, and he is stabbed by another man in the neck with a lot of blood spraying. The woman dies briefly after.

A lighthouse is blown up, and it collapses loudly. Afterwards, a lot of flames and explosions are seen as a man fights several ships in a harbour. 

A few dead bodies with blood on the ground are seen, with a guard piling them on top of each other.

An arena, with blood stains in the center, is seen. A man is held captive there, and he is being punched continuously by another man. 

A man is stabbed in the shoulder, with blood spraying.

A massive explosion is seen, but nobody is seriously injured. Afterwards, a smoke cloud is seen, and a few people are seen choking and writhing on the floor, struggling to breathe.

A dead man with a knife in his back is seen, with blood where the wound is. Another man pulls out the knife, with a squish being heard. 

A woman is seen being held in a choke hold by a man. Another man rescues her.

A woman is seen with a noose around her neck, busy getting hanged. She struggles around whilst hanging.

A woman hangs from the side of a chariot.

A man hangs on a rope trailing behind a moving carriage. He is scraped along the ground.

Two men fight each other with a knife and fists as they fall off a cliff and plummet towards the ground. When the guy is stabbed, blood sprays and a bloody wound is seen. When the guy is punched, blood sprays.

Two men glide towards the ground, and crash into it. They are not severely injured.

A man is strangled by another man, and then thrown off a cliff.

A man's skeleton is seen, and it is implied he simply died of natural causes.

Explosions, thunder strikes, buildings collapsing, and people running and screaming are seen, as a great catastrophe is shown. Several people fall down into a fiery pit, many boulders and pieces of buildings are seen falling, and a huge explosion overwhelms everybody. An image of a mother and her crying baby is seen, with the explosion reaching them, and then the scene cuts away.

Sex/Nudity: A man tells another man that at his age his interests were mainly 'other' things, whilst looking towards a woman.

Romanies, (Widely known as gypsies) have dancer groups that can be hired to distract nearby guards, and obscure you from enemies by hiding in the midst of the group. The dancers show off a bit of skin, but not that much.

The Romanies
A woman wears a dress from the time period that shows off cleavage.

Some dialog: A man says he took a woman for leisure, she said it was simply business, and such business was his pleasure.

A man mentions something about spending the night with a woman. 

A man mentions that a man was engaged to his sister many years ago, but his D*** was engaged to six others.

An idle bit of chatter amongst a crowd: "Well that was a sorry looking whore. Won't be selling her goods anytime soon!"

Another bit of chatter, with a man asking his brother what happened with: "An Italian whore"

A man mentions they saw a woman disguised as: "A harlot of low birth"

Language: Uses of B***rd, F**k, S**t, D**k, A*s, D**n, Bl***y, and B***l**ks.

God and Jesus' name are used in vain infrequently.

Drugs/Alcohol/Smoking: A few people are seen smoking out of a flask, with a pipe leading out of it and the end being used to smoke from. I don't know what these are called.

A man is mentioned to have been a bartender; a few people are heard ordering drinks.

Spiritual Content: There are a few murals, that contains patterns. One of the murals is a half-man, half horse. (Don't know what those things are called.) These murals are referencing astrological signs. Noteworthy.

There are some mentions of the Islamic law, and a few characters mention Allah briefly. This is more something to show how history was at the time, so this is tolerable.

A woman mentions that they have been insulted by being labeled witches and warlocks. She tells you to fool people into believing that a box is cursed by a pagan hex. This is actually less of a curse, and more of you just sneakily poisoning people who touch said box. 

There is a mention of a device called the Apple of Eden; a device that can do several weird things. This is not spiritual, but it's name is quite noteworthy.

An Egyptian obelisk is seen, part of a historical site. 

A thug you are fighting exclaims: "God help me!" Your character replies: "He's got better things to do than answer your prayers!"

A few unlockable items in a game mode known as Desmond's Journey are seen. They are rotating cubes. If you touch them, they give you symbols you can use for your multiplayer emblem. I highly recommend you avoid them, as the symbols are highly occultic, like a pentagram. You can avoid it by not touching the cubes.

A mural of the Roman Catholic version of Jesus is seen.

Some of the game's backstory is a mixture of biblical and science fiction. I'm going into to heavy spoilers, so here we go: 

Adam and Eve lived in a Eden, albeit this version is a controlled by a mysterious race known as the First Civilization, partially holographic beings that created mankind, sort of like Panspermia. (The theory that extra-terrestial life created mankind, proposed by some biologists.)

Adam and Eve rebelled against this race, and the stole a device known as the Apple of Eden. They were caught, but they somehow managed to reproduce, and some people today have traces of their DNA.

So this is a very sci-fi, but heavily unbiblical backstory. Revelations doesn't go into this, but it stays a part of the canon. Up to you about this obvious inversion of the Bible.

Themes: The Creed the assassins live by is: "Nothing is true, everything is permitted." According to them, this means that society is fragile, and that men are the architects of their own destiny.

Both true and false. Ultimately, God decides our destiny, but we are given free will to decide in our actions. So this Creed isn't nearly as occultic as it sounds, but still false nonetheless.

Morality: Well, you play as an assassin. Not a knight in shining armour any way you look at it.

The assassins have good intentions, removing wicked and unjust people who make loopholes in the law. But murder is murder, and they are not reluctant to kill.

Some innocent people can get caught in the crossfire, but the game discourages this.

So all in all, not very good for morals.

Review of Game:

You play as Desmond Miles, a man who travels into the memories of his ancestors in order to discover what is going on around him. Or something like that.

This is the first Assassin's Creed game I have played, so I'm not well versed in the backstory. However, the game is made so that a newcomer can jump in and enjoy, but I still do think they intended for people who followed the series.

During the course of the game, you play as Ezio Auditore, and another character. I won't spoil it for you, so don't worry.

The story was okay. I guess it's historically accurate, as everything is extremely detailed in a believable manner and such. It's a tad bit on the short side, and it feels rushed in spots, but ultimately it's good, and comes to a fairly decent conclusion. It's a cliffhanger, hinged on an obvious sequel, but it's still an okay ending.

General gameplay.

Ezio is a very good character, which is why he probably stuck around for this long. It's hard not to like him, even if he only smiles once or twice during the course of the game.

Revelations also includes a bit of a love story. I'm usually annoyed by them, but in this case it works, even if the scenes it takes place in are brief. But me saying it works, means something.

Visually, this game is quite good, but unfortunately it helped discover my awesome gaming PC is not so awesome anymore, so I had to play this on low quality. :/

This game is quite demanding on your PC, and you better have a good rig to fully enjoy the excellent visuals.

So do I think you should buy this? Well, you have to decide about the content, but yes. I think it's a very good game, the gameplay is fun once you get used to the controls, and the story is okay and it actually learns you a bit of history. Surprising, huh?

Anyways, time for the verdict.

Verdict: Strong Caution 
Quality: Good
  • Fun Gameplay: The controls are a bit weird at first, but its okay once you get used to them. The gameplay is fun, addictive, and, well, fun. It won't last forever though, but you can come back and 100% the game after you finish the story.

  • Okay Story: For newcomers, this is okay. I'm sure if you got into the series earlier you would appreciate it more. Still, it's interesting, and the historically accurate world of Constantinople is well crafted.

  • Good Visuals: The visuals are detailed and beautiful, but they require an up to date PC. So you might have to upgrade, if you are like me.

  • Graphic Brief Violence: The violence is brutal, but it happens quickly. You play as an assassin, so that is noteworthy.

  • Infrequent Strong Language: Some bad words are said, but they are not frequent. Still noteworthy.

  • Mild Sexual References: Some minor dialog moments. Some revealing clothing.

  • Mild Spiritual Content: Mostly historically accurate references. An important story moment contains references to mythology. Previous games in the serious contain more gnostic and unbiblical themes, however, so that is to be noted.

  • Bad Morality: You definitely should not imitate these guys in real life, no matter how good their intentions are.

  • Ages 16 and up ONLY!

So that should be all there is to cover! I hope this gave you some good insights, and helped you in your purchasing decision.

See ya next week, with a new review, same time!


1 comment:

  1. Good review! Just wanted to point out that, at least in Greco-Roman mythology, half-human, half-horse figures are called centaurs.