August 31, 2012

Other resources

A short post this time, due to my forgetfulness: For those of you who are into their games, and maybe movies, here are some resources for you to use when you try to decide on a purchase. The American Rating System for video games, the ESRB gives you short content descriptors that give you a basic view of what a game contains. These days, they even started including short descriptions.

Guide2Games: A community I wanted to be part of, before I started this blog, Guide2Games is much like my blog, except with a much larger community. They also are a lot more tolerant of spiritual content, but not always. Still, they are a good resource.

CommonSenseMedia: A secular website devoted to reviews for parents, about any entertainment medium. This website provides a bit of insight of what content a game, movie or book may contain. You might not always agree with their assessments, but it is an okay resource.

Kids-In-Mind: A secular company that does movie reviews with all the details, except for spiritual content. You will have a pretty good idea of what a movie contains when you read one of their reviews. However, there are only reviews of films from the early 90s and onwards.

Plugged In Online: If you're REALLY desperate, you can go to this website. They are very subjective, but their reviews contain a bit of detail, if heavily exaggerated.

Screen-it: Unfortunately, you'll have to pay for this one, but Screen-it's reviews are detailed down to the speck of dust. Up to you if you want to shell out some money, but if you are an avid movie watcher, I guess it's more than worth it. You'll have a very good idea of what to expect. The best movie reviews on the internet. (When they were still free.)

Kyle's Game Reviews: Okay, okay, just kidding. That's a sign that my post is over.

So that's my resources! I hope you find them useful. :P

What are your favourite sites to visit before watching a movie or buying a game? What do you think of the aforementioned sites?

August 26, 2012

Quick update

So, no post this Monday. Sorry, it's a bit difficult for me to post on my blog on Mondays. Should have thought it through. But, I will still be posting on Wednesdays and Fridays. That is a guarantee.

I know it's lame of me to be so indecisive, but I'm sticking to this decision.

Very sorry guys. I promise this won't happen again.

August 24, 2012

Extended Review: Deus Ex: Human Revolution

NOTE: This isn’t the review for parents and the like. Click here for that. 

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: This is something I cooked up whilst being without internet for a month. As such, it may contain traces of stupidity, but don't take it too seriously. I was just sick of wondering if I should do these kinds of posts, but now I'm pretty sure I will.

I hope it entertains you, and please note:






EXTENDED REVIEW is a new post type of mine; one where I make a rather long review of a game (Any I fancy) without having to talk about “Areas of concern” and “Moderate Caution” or “Johnny ate the hamburger with sauce dripping. This is moderately gruesome”

No, this is a place where I can bash and praise a game on just about ANYTHING, without having to worry about the length of it or the content of it. So check your watch, see if your boss isn’t looking, and let’s get to reviewing!

Also: CONTAINS SPOILERS! If you haven’t played this game already, do so now, please. This is actually a really good game and it comes highly recommended, if you are the right age to play it.


So what is our first subject here on EXTENDED REVIEW? It is Deus Ex: Human Revolution, a game that came out last year, and the prequel to the 2000 cult classic Deus Ex. (Yes, I know. People today all praise it. But it does have a cult following too.)

So how does it stack up? Well, I already did a review for it, and I liked it very much. But there are a few things I don’t like, and since these reviews are going to nitpick a LOT, you’ll have plenty of entertainment watching me bash this game, whilst still praising it overall.

Why don’t we start at the beginning?


Welcome to the world of Deus Ex: Human Revolution: A world where humanity has started to merge with machines, build enormous cities, engineer personal rocket vehicles in a top secret facility, which despite its highly conservative firewall, it still gets Nigerian spam emails.

The first scene of the game is of a weally weally suspicious looking guy lighting a cigawette. He then discusses his evil plans for humanity with his conspiwacy buddies. The man is Bob Page, from the fiwst Deus Ex. Fans wejoice! 

However, this actually all you see of the guy. Except for the little post credits scene, of course.

But the first scene is cool, and the conspiracy nature of the entire game, and by extension, the whole series’ is established quite well in the clip.

Fact: A character that lights a smoke in a half silhouette is never trustworthy.

We then cut to what looks like Lady Gaga’s really conservative daughter, reporting on protests in Washington.

She mentions that they are protesting outside the capitol of Washington, where hearings on human augmentation are going to take place. (If you don’t know, augmentation is a fancy word for “Technological Transhumanism”.)

We then see the main character, Adam Jensen, in a cute little argument with his security guy on the phone. We also see his red headed girlfriend, Megan Reed.

“Eight bags of McDonalds. That guy from ‘Super-Size Me’ was a sissy.”

Excuse me, his “Ex” girlfriend. He does seem to hang onto her a lot, as you can see her pictures in his apartment. (Seriously, let go man!)
They both then proceed to walk through the labs where people are working on human enhancements. 

The ‘arms’ and ‘legs’ type.

She then has a bit of some Hardcore Sci-Fi technobabble with a few of her scientists.

We then see a scientist coming out with a military guy. Err, the kind of ‘coming out’ as in ‘coming out a door’ type. Not the…You get my point. Anyway, his voice should be familiar to anybody who played a Splinter Cell game: Lambert!

See? No funny ‘coming out’ stuff. You guys can calm down now.

You know! Big old lovable Lambert who fires you from a mission if you so much as bend over and tie your shoe laces without his permission!
Oh, wait. There are probably non-gamers reading this, and don’t have a clue what I’m talking about, so let’s move on:

So anyway, the lovely couple….err, “ex” couple, walk over and get in the elevator. Your ex is just about make a confession about something, when the elevator door opens, and in comes this really annoying guy who Jensen doesn’t like one bit, (Understandable.) and messes up the moment entirely.

Yeah, he just made things awkward. Way to go, pony tail guy!

So after he sabotaged your moment, you proceed to walk over to your boss’s office, and you and your boss, David Sarif, talk briefly about how safe Megan’s research is when, gasp, an emergency!

Why did I know this was gonna happen? 
“Probably because you played it four times before!”
Shut up Kyle, I'm busy doing a review!

Oh the surprise! But he then tells you to get your big fancy coat down there and find out what those nerds just broke again. He then gives you the code to the elevator door. It should be familiar to anybody that played the first game: 0451.

Oh. Four. Five. One. Why do I always remember that number, and not any other? Why? What is the significance of it? Why do I know it so well? Why? Why? WHY? WHY-Anyways. 

You proceed to climb in the elevator, and ride down to save the day once again, because everybody else is too lazy to stop eating their burgers, get off their hinds, and actually do something! Sheesh…

So you then proceed to find who caused this equipment failure…oh. It wasn’t an equipment failure. It was a group of mercs attacking. Cool. Can I go back now? I found out what happened….No? Oh, all right! I’ll try to resolve the situation. Sigh.

Shady conspiracy guy uses merc attack against Sarif Industries. It is super effective!

Why do I have to do everything? I mean, isn’t there someone else that….wait….Megan’s life is at risk? MAN, NOW I’M MAD! 

So then Jensen proceeds through the chaos and comes to a place where somebody broke through the wall. Jensen thought about when his McDonalds delivery was going to arrive, when a man suddenly greeted him with a fist to the stomach.

The man then throws Jensen through the thick glass and into a rather combustible piece of equipment, leaving Jensen looking a lot less than Mr Universe.

Told you them McBurgers was bad.

Jensen is approached by the strange looking guy, who then picks him up. Megan acts like Supergirl, and throws barrel of acid at the guy. It does nothing.

Sigh. Useless nerds.

She is then given a big, warm backhand.

The funny looking guy then picks Adam’s gun up and shoots him in the head. Sigh. Things just aren’t going his way, are they?

Stuck on an operating table, without even a McBurger in sight. (That’s the last McDonalds joke I’ll make. Honest.)

We then proceed to see the opening title; the development team’s names overlaid on an X-ray of Jensen. And shots of people operating on him. And shots of people inserting robotic parts into him.

“We have the technology, sir. We can rebuild him.”

And shots of Jensen necking with his girlfriend.

Ex-girlfriend, sorry. Shots inserted specifically to remind you that his relationship with her is far from mentally over. 

Oh, and to make things awkward when your parents see it. That’s obviously why they put it in.

And then after a shot of Adam kissing Megan, we see the game’s title.

“In case you forgot which game you spent your hard earned money on.” Signed, The Developers.

And that was Deus Ex: Human Revolution! Quite a short game, I will admit, but now that it’s finally over….kidding. Just kidding!

But seriously, now that I’ve made fun of the game’s opening and title sequence, how good are they? Both are very good. I know the rest of the game matters too, but the opening was very captivating, and grabbed your attention perfectly.

The title sequence was something out of an A-Class Hollywood movie. It was very well done. If the rest of the game is on this quality, then we have ourselves a winner.

Of course, the game is a winner, but there still is a lot of stuff left to nitpick. I won’t review this game scene by scene, obviously, but we are going to have a wide review of the story.

So let’s get started:


Right, why don’t we start right after the title sequence?
So game continues with Adam Jensen walking back into his old workplace, except now……He wears sunglasses at night!

(Insert stupid joke about sunglasses here.)

But his awesome sunglasses have bit of a malfunction, and he has to go see the annoying pony tail guy to fix it, named Pritchard.

Pritchard fixing you.

Pritchard fixes your retinal display, and then you can have a nice little chit-chat about the good old days. And they make extremely obvious that they don’t like each other.

After that, Adam proceeds to the helipad, and we fly away to the next level.

But before I continue, there’s a nice little detail I want to talk about; if you stroll around the building doing nothing, or talking to people, pretty soon your boss will get real mad and tell you the situation got worse; the hostages you’re supposed to rescue? They died.

That’s it. They’re dead. No game over, just now a lot of people aren’t going to be happy with you.

Its little things like these that just make the game.

Moving on: The next level does a good job of showing you how your choices matter. 

Like, if you decided to leave the hostages behind, the SWAT team will try to rescue them and fail, if you try to save them and fail, people will chew you out for it, if you get it right to save them, it will make a lot of people happy in the face and stuff.

So overall, it is generally a good level.

However, there is one scene I want to nitpick….Yes. You can smile now.
In one scene, Adam comes across a guy with wires in his head, trying to hack into a system. The guy then points a gun at his own head, and shoots himself when Adam tries to take it away.

What’s the problem? Look at this next screen grab:

“Oh no! You’re the guy who ordered the McDonalds bags which I was supposed to deliver. Might as well end this quickly!”
(Sorry. Couldn’t help it.)

Yes. He said “Help me…” With wires attached to his brain. Whilst looking like he doesn’t actually want to kill himself.

Isn’t it extremely obvious he’s being mind-controlled? Not to the brilliant team over at Sarif Industries it isn’t. They think it was just an effort to avoid interrogation.

Sigh. Useless nerds.

This is a small flaw, but still one that’s pretty distracting. Like the fence you blew up at your hillbilly mother-in-law’s house. Or future hillbilly mother-in-law, whatever floats your boat.

Back to the level;
You then proceed to confront the leader of the terrorists, who is busy holding a hostage.

You engage in a conversation minigame with him, if you decide to free the hostage, but let him go free as well in order to help find out who is behind the hacker. Let me take this opportunity to talk about the minigame;

The conversation minigame is very well done. I mean, they could have based a whole game around going and confronting people using this little game.

The way it works is you have to listen to a person, determine their personality, and then act accordingly. Everybody acts in a unique and unpredictable way. For example, you might think that intimidating a potty mouth officer might get you no results, but surprisingly, it does.

It is also to be noted that the characters don’t always say the same things, which adds an extra layer to the minigame, in that you can play the game multiple times using different conversation options, and you will come across new lines of dialogue. 

I have to admire the writing team’s commitment to the game, as they could simply have just made one line per dialogue option and moved on. But they didn’t. And for that, they should be commended.

Moving on;
You can convince him to let go of the hostage, or you can fail and she gets caught in the crossfire between the SWAT team who is busy getting held back, and he escapes. Both options get you chewed out for, but it still is nice seeing what the consequences of your actions are.

After that, Jensen returns to Sarif Industries triumphant. Or semi-triumphant. Or having completely failed. Pretty cool, huh? No? Alright….

So you then go speak to your boss about the totally not mind-controlled hacker, and the fact that the police department is not allowing Sarif to see his corpse. Maybe they’re mad because they also didn’t get their McDonalds?

But anyway, your boss asks you to break in to the police department, and steal the neural hub from the hackers head……What?

Yes that’s right; your boss is asking you to do something illegal. And he just waves it off when you confront him about it. Yeah, real smart move. You’re already in hot water for keeping the SWAT team back on the previous level, and now you want to do something unlawful? 

But with that being said, it does lead to one of the best scenes in the game:

You walk into the police department, and come across an old friend of yours. You ask him to let you into the morgue. He refuses at first, and then you engage in conversation to try and convince him. It also involves his past, with him having being forced to shoot a 15 year old boy.

I still don’t know why I feel so sorry for the poor guy. Maybe cause he looks like a delivery guy for McDon-never mind.

Seriously, this is a very good scene; the facial animations being done very well, (In contrast to the rest of the game.) the subtle music playing in the background, and the fact that you actually feel sorry for this guy. I mean, who would shoot him after viewing this scene?

…err, my finger slipped. Honest.

But in all seriousness, it’s a really good scene, and one the developers should receive a pat on the back for. 

Moving on;
You eventually get to the morgue, piles of cops or not, and find the body you were looking for. Now if you’re like me, you’ll obviously want to pick up the body and drag it to a nearby vent to stash it away for later. 

Like thus.

However, if you do so, the nearby surgeon will yell “Someone help!” for some weird reason, and try to sound the alarm. And to add insult to injury, he CONTINOUSLY yells: “Someone help!”

“Someone help!” “Someone help!” “Someone help!” “Someone help!” “Someone help!” “Someone help!” “Someone help!”
…Someone help shut this guy up!

Seriously? The only panic line they had written for him was “Someone help”? Lazy writers. Should have spent more time working on the game than eating McBur-Never mind.

You are then ordered to get home; when you do, you see a cutscene where somebody FINALLY figures out that the hacker was mind controlled. 

Sigh. Useless nerds.

You are then told to go to a rooftop in a gang’s territory. But before we do so, why don’t we look around Adam’s apartment…

Book title: “Resolving Conflicts”…

Adam eats children’s cereal…

Get well soon cards….

Picture of Megan and their dog, Kubrick, both now deceased…

Broken mirror, which Jensen obviously smashed because he didn’t like his new look….

Uneaten sandwich…

Yes, as you can see, Adam is not a very happy guy. And it shows. I like the attention to detail in his apartment, as it gives you a little more insight into his character.

Moving on;
You are then sent to an abandoned facility somewhere in Detroit, after you disable a radar jammer thingy, which disables a few people’s televisions….Hmm. Wonder if they were legal?

But moving on; you fly away to an abandoned park, and see the mercs who attacked Sarif Industries, as they discuss that somebody tampered with the dead hacker’s body. They are not amused.

You proceed to infiltrate the facility, which you discover is actually a FEMA base…..Whoa, man! The government is after us. They’ve been chasing us since the beginning, man! They also have three really weird looking people in their base, which leads to one of the frustrating boss fights, man!

I jest; the only conspiracy part is the mercs and their homies. 

Just before the boss fight however, you come across the scariest room in the game;


Those robots? They are hard to kill. You have come across one or two, but whether you fought them or not, this room remains scary. It’s amazing how reluctant I was to actually walk down this hallway. Good job developers, you made me scared. Happy?

But moving on to the stupid boss fight;
You fight Barrett, the big guy.

The big guy is Barrett. He’s a big guy.

He is not that hard to defeat, if you have lethal guns. But if you have non-lethal, it’s your funeral, pal. Seriously, it’s really frustrating when you have been playing with minimal weapons, only to get killed over and over again on one stupid boss fight. Frustrating.

But when you’re FINALLY done fighting him, he gives up the location of the hacker…..The ACTUAL hacker.

He then proceeds to pull an Achmed, and jerks out the pin from one of his grenades.

You should rather tell them that Barrett had a late detonation.

Jensen then stabs him through the neck, and does an Action Man leap out of the way.

He then proceeds to go back to Detroit, where you can then finish the side quests you received the previous time you were there, if you haven’t already, or you have not found them yet.

I’m not going to focus on side quests in this review; however I will say that the side quests are fun and interesting, and are a welcome change from the main storyline. 

Moving on;
You walk up to see your boss, Mr Sarif, but you are instead greeted by William Taggert.

Taggert is a man who opposes human augmentation viciously, and he speaks in a saccharine tone, so much so, that the only thing I want to do is punch his teeth out.

But unfortunately, you can’t. You then proceed to listen to him think he knows you all too well, confront him if you feel like it, and then speak to his aide, Isaias Sandoval.

He is a guy.

And he doesn't like augmentations very much. That is a big surprise for some reason.

But anyway, you then go speak to your boss. If you spoke to annoying Pritchard first, you will confront him about a security leak. If you do it correctly, you will find that your boss was hiring a private investigator to do background checks on you.

He did dig up some stuff on you, and he sends it to your computer. Now here’s another nitpick; you do find out a bit about Jensen’s past, but never fully. It’s really frustrating that something like that was just plain…Dropped.

It could be because their saving it up for a potential sequel or downloadable content, but that’s just wrong. They should have solved it in this game! 

But moving on...
You then get sent to double decker city named Hengsha to find that hacker. Double decker city. Chew on that for a second……

….Maybe if I give you a picture, you’ll understand…

…Yes, it’s so amazing it made Jensen use a bad word.

Moving on again; you proceed to Hengsha Court Gardens, where you discover the hacker’s hideout.

Man, that’s some serious internet surfing tools!

But there is one little thing about this that isn’t right; the hacker’s computer is level 1 security. The lowest level. 

That makes about as much sense as the entire plot of Modern Warfare 2: “Blah blah blah Russian terrorist works with American general for some reason to destroy America so that general can make great profit.”

Also; Soap’s hair.

But back to Deus Ex; you proceed to a really funny looking bar christened The Hive. There you meet a guy who looks like your father-in-law after he made fun of your hillbilly mother-in-law’s soup as she was pouring it in.

And then he had to fix that fence you blew up. Sheesh.

One way or another, you find out that hacker, named Van Bruggen, is hiding in the Alice Garden Pods, a bunch of really small little hotels. A picture will help again in this instance;

That is the pod. Nice for claustrophobes.

You then proceed to find Van Bruggen, and he offers to help, if you can find a smart card.

When you do, he encodes it for you, and then the bad guys bust in to kill Van Bruggen. He asks you for a weapon.

Sigh. Useless nerds.

You can give him one, or just decide to go your merry way, and then he dies. Yay.

But no time to mourn, as you proceed to a shuttle which will take you to the upper tier of the city.

Along the way, you come across this pitiful wreck of a man;

He needs help.

You can save him, or move along. If you choose to save him, he will give you some directions, and mention a security guard owes him a favour. If you move along, you hear his pitiful cries for help, which I guess stop as soon as you move on. I don’t know, because like Haas, for some reason I felt too sorry for this guy to let him die.

Either way; you eventually proceed up the tower, and get to a camera that shows the CEO of Tai Yong Medical, (The Company that you are in) Zhao Yun Ru, in an argument with one of the mercs that attacked Sarif Industries.

It’s because you were too busy eating those burgers of yours. You know which ones I’m talking about…

She then reveals that Megan and Co were kidnapped, not killed.
…So Adam holding on to her was the right thing to do? No. He should still have let go after they broke up.

But moving on, unlike Adam; your boss tells you to get to the top of the tower, and confront Miss Zhao about her naughty schemes.

You get to the top, and Zhao tries to shoot you. Adam holds a blade to her head, and she engages in some of the most ridiculously fake protests to get Adam to not kill her. But of course, the brilliant team over at Sarif can’t figure that out. 

Sigh. Useless nerds.

She then shoves Adam out of the room, and pushes the panic button. She disappears as her entire security team and their mothers decide to try and kill you.

Piles of guards or not, you finally get to the helipad, disable the robots, and escape. Except this time, you are not going back to Detroit. You are going to the world’s most popular news station, Picus. That’s where Lady Gaga’s really conservative daughter, named Eliza Cassan, is located.

You arrive at the news station only to discover that it is empty. 

Everybody left in a rush. Why? I don’t know. The game never makes it clear why everybody was rushed out. Maybe the game’s Art Designer rushed in and everybody was scared out of their minds at him for looking so much like Adam Jensen.

Not to mention the fact that he is a complete nerd.

But moving on; you find Eliza, and she reveals that she was in on the kidnappings, unintentionally, by making the locator signals in the scientist’s heads disappear for a brief while. Adam then grabs for her, and discovers that she is a hologram. Pritchard tells you to get to the bottom where the signal originated from.

When you get there, you come across a really blue room, and discover that Eliza is actually a computer. Chew on that for a second.

….So, what does that make Lady Gaga?

But right after you grin at the really cool twist, along comes a really annoying boss fight to wipe it right off your face. You fight the chick who sort of looks like Rihanna.

Don’t ask, just, I don’t know. I don’t know.

After you are FINALLY done, she collapses, and Eliza reveals that Taggert’s aide, Isaias Sandoval was in on the conspiracy, and that your boss knows why Megan’s team was kidnapped.
You then go back to Detroit, where a riot has broken out.

“I’m so angry, I made a sign!”

This happened because there was a footage leak of scientists performing torture like experiments on super soldiers, which was allegedly sponsored by Sarif and similar companies. Because of the riots, Sarif has to see you at your apartment.

You meet up with him, and then have a discussion; Sarif of course denies that he ever would condone such a thing, moves on to Megan, and mentions that the Illuminati did it. This leads to Adam scoffing, Sarif insisting they are real, and Adam just raises an eyebrow and believes him.

That’s Jensen’s version of an eyebrow raise.


For a guy as sceptical as Adam, he sure is quick to believe in the Illuminati. So quick, that it seems forced.

Maybe they should have made that he slowly comes to terms with this new revelation, I mean; today he found out that his ex-girlfriend is alive, there exists a FEMA camp in Detroit, a world famous news anchor is actually an extremely sophisticated AI, and he that forgot to eat his sandwich.

I mean, seriously? Give him a break!

No? Alright;

Grumpy Jensen then proceeds to the convention centre to point a finger at naughty Taggert, and demand Isaias’s location. If you do it right, Taggert will give you the information. You can also make him mad.

I made Taggert so mad that he nearly used a bad word… J

However, if you don’t do this carefully, Taggert will be a bit too mad and refuse to answer your questions. As satisfying as it is to see Taggert nearly explode with rage, it is still disappointing that you don’t get any information out of him.

But if you didn’t, you proceed to his backroom to hack into his computer, and find out where naughty Sandoval is.

Also, take a look at this;


I sure hope that isn’t Taggert’s little beverage…

But you unfortunately can’t use it against him, (As far as I know) and you then proceed to go and find Isaias.

If you failed at the Taggert confrontation, Jensen will rough Sandoval up a bit, and find out what he wanted about the scientists. Sandoval then tries to shoot Jensen, and you knock him out, or kill him.

However, if you succeeded in making Taggert look bad, (So awesome) you then proceed to find Sandoval, except now he is feeling very sorry for himself, and wants to put a bullet in his head.

You can convince him not too, and he will eventually give himself up to the police when they arrive. If you fail….Well, the picture can do the talking;


Funny thing is, it is actually quite easy to convince him to not commit suicide. The only way you probably will see the picture above, is if you tried to make him shoot himself, or you were just unlucky.

But moving on; you discover that Megan and her team’s GPL’s (Locator chips) were actually being broadcast on a lower frequency. Annoying Pritchard is assigned with the task of figuring it out, as you go back to your boss.

But when you get to his office, you are instead greeted by Hugh Darrow, the father of augmentation. Or at least, the guy who propelled it to the forefront.

Hugh Darrow says that Sarif speaks very highly of you. Gee…That’s nice...heh heh!

He speaks a bit about his gigantic mechanical hole in the Arctic Ocean, which is going to stop Global warming….right.

But then Sarif comes in, and sends you back to Hengsha, as Pritchard tracked down one of the scientists there.

So off goes the bearded Action Man on another wild goose chase to find him. However, the helicopter thingy he is in is suddenly shot down. Malik (Your pilot) is a sitting duck, and every bad guy and his mother is shooting at her.

This is a point where you can decide to leave her, or try to save her. Once again, like Haas and the pitiful scientist, I felt way too sorry for her to let her die. But you can actually fail at your goal, and man, the rage you feel afterwards makes you want to shoot any similar looking bad guy in the face!

I don’t know why, but the developers got it right to make you care for her character, and once again, they should receive a pat on the back.
Either way, Jensen sets off to find the scientist. When he does find him, he discovers that the man was only an arm. Oops.

An arm attached to a father-in-law looking guy.

Yes, you meet up again with Tong, the bartender you argued with the last time you were on this island. He says a few things, and then tells you to go to the docks, where he will have a ‘package’ for you.
You proceed to the docks, find the package, and proceed to the top office to plant the bomb. Yes, “A BOMB!”

Adam plants the bomb and activates it, only to discover that the timer only has ten seconds before it goes off. Adam then breaks the window in front of him, and does another Action Man leap out of the way.

Adam looks around the dockyard, finds an open container, and then climbs inside a pod. Heck of a lot of confidence in that pod, eh Jensen?
You then jump forward a few days later, where Jensen wakes up in a secure facility where Megan and her co nerds are. Jensen proceeds to find everyone besides Megan, and then comes to a really funny looking place;

…Err, okay.

You find Zhao Yun Ru there, with her typically snide smile. She then pushes a button, and if you installed yourself with the new chip, it will make your vision all messed up. You then fight with the last member of mercenary squad that attacked Sarif Industries, Jaron Namir.

Don’t worry…They cut off the important part!

After you finished fighting him in this very weird and confusing place, Jensen punches him hard, and sends him stumbling into the wall. Jensen asks the guy where Megan is, but he only says something about them never getting back the things they love.


I’m sorry; can somebody please explain what he meant? I mean, seriously!

Okay, this quote might mean something, so I’m saving it away for later. The words you see in the screen caption above? Remember them. I might talk about them in a little bit.

So you then proceed to Megan, who mistakenly thinks you are Namir.
Jensen is not amused.

Yeah, tell her!

But he then finds out that Megan was really kidnapped, as they had gone after her research. The research that could make everyone accept artificial limbs without the need for shots to prevent rejection psychosis.

She then talks about how Hugh Darrow convinced her not to go through with the research. He was apparently working with Tai Yong Medical to make sure they would not succeed.

But suddenly, a surprise; Hugh Darrow activates a switch that drives augmented people insane, making them kill each other. So off goes Jensen again to stop him, because nobody else can do it. Sigh. Useless nerds.

Megan and the other hopeless geeks board a helithingy and fly away. Adam says they will talk later…and then you never see her again.
Yes, you read that right.

Now this probably has something to do with what Namir was saying, but it feels more like the developers got lazy and just dropped her from the storyline. Namir’s line was probably inserted by them to hand wave her sudden disappearance, but that does not make it any less abrupt.
But moving on;

Jensen then walks over to some personal rocket thing, which will whiz him over to Panchea, Hugh Darrow’s huge installation in the sea that will supposedly stop Global Warming as I mentioned before. The rocket flies up and above the earth to reach Panchea…Whoa.

“Boy what I wouldn’t do for one of these things…”

But unfortunately, the rocket thingy then has a bit of a malfunction, and crashes into the sea next to the construction.

It then cuts to Jensen, who just got on the thing, perfectly okay.
…Wait a minute. How did he get out of the water? And how was he completely unharmed? This game really needs to stop driving my head around in circles.

But moving on past this weird happening; Jensen then proceeds to go inside and find naughty Hugh Darrow. Also, did I mention this is the last level? Yes, seriously. It really does not feel like a last level, but it is.
The game almost falls completely apart near the end, unfortunately. 

It was as if the release date was putting too much pressure on the development team, but funny enough, they actually had enough time to make a good final level. So this is attributed to laziness on the part of the developers, not pressure on the part of the publishers.

Moving on; you then proceed up to a room where it looks like there has been a massive fight about McDonalds and a few of the people weren’t playing nice, if you catch my drift.

Well, it was a Friday night…

Adam then walks up to Hugh Darrow and questions him about why he did it. He explains that a catastrophe is the best way to make people learn, and that he thinks augmentation is going to be the downfall of humanity.

If you do the conversation game right, he will reveal that he actually activated the signal that drives augmented people insane, because he was jealous of them. Jealous, because he could not be like them, due to him being genetically incompatible with the technology.

But his opinion about augmentation still stands, and he asks you to reveal the truth to the entire world about the Illuminati, and the biochip Tai Yong and Co were creating for them.

So we then move on, but not before greeting Hugh Darrow, wink, wink…

That felt more satisfying than it should have….Still. He had it coming.

We then start going to where the broadcast centre is, but suddenly we get a distress call from Taggert. They holed up in the server room, and want somebody to come rescue them. Adam, of course, has to go see what this nonsense is about.

We get to Taggert, and ask him what he wants. He confesses that he is indirectly involved with the Illuminati. He also confesses that he never wanted augmentation outlawed; rather he just wanted it regulated.
So he was a big fat liar in front of everyone, supported the Illuminati, and his breath stinks. What does he get for that?

I’ve wanted to do that for a long time… :)

You then proceed to walk through the rest of the place, and hear Sarif asking for help. He is in the machine room. Of course, we have to pay him a visit.

Sarif asks you to shut down the signal, and then tell the world that the Humanity Front (Taggert’s organization) created a virus that attacks only augmented people. Adam questions him about why he stole his DNA and used it without his permission. Sarif hand waves it, saying that it would lead to a better future for mankind.

So he hand waves stealing your DNA, may be endorsing some unethical supersoldier experiments, he does not even have the decency to care about un-augmented people, and he wants you to lie for his company’s benefit….What should he get for th-a punch.

He definitely had it coming.

So after we did that, we eventually get to the elevator to the bottom of the construction and ride it down.

We then get to the bottom, and see what runs the facility; a bunch of women attached, or rather, enslaved to a machine. Eesh.

Thanks developers. Now I can’t sleep.

We also see Zhao Yun Ru preparing to connect to the machine. She goes on about how she will be recognised as the world’s saviour when she succeeds in connecting to the machine.
She fails.

Sigh. Useless nerds.

But guess what, she can’t disconnect either. So what is the solution? Adam has to euthanize all the women and then kill Zhao. But suddenly the women activate the security system of turrets, making Adam’s day harder. His reaction is priceless;

Be honest, after so much of cleaning up everybody else’s mess, that would be your reaction too…..French or not.

So off goes Adam Jensen to save the day….Again.

After a bunch of shooting augmented freaks, blowing up sentry bots, dodging annoying electrical charges, and killing enslaved women, Jensen finally shoots Zhao and the machine overloads, and Zhao has a rather nasty ending.

…Well, at least she burned like the brightest star.

After Zhao has been cooked extra crispy, Adam proceeds through the doorway behind her, and then we meet up again with our old friend Eliza, who gives you the multiple different endings.

Before I talk about the endings, let me wrap up my review; the game ends on a rather mediocre note, with the endings simply being buttons you push. And besides that, a few story threads were simply just…dropped.

What about Megan Reed? You don’t see her again, but only hear her in the post credits scene. But you still don’t get any closure on the Adam and Megan storyline.

What about the supersoldiers? Did Sarif really endorse them, or was he too nice for that? The game doesn’t tell you, and while the whole grey morality thing is nice, it is pretty unsatisfying storytelling.

But on the whole, how does the game fair? It is actually a very good game, despite its flaws. And I think any gamer who wants a fresh, unique experience, with great gameplay and mostly good storytelling, will want to add this game in his or her collection.

So there, buy it. No excuses.


So now that I’m finished with the review of the storytelling, what do I think of the endings, plus, how do they fit in with my beliefs? Let’s find out:

Hugh Darrow/No More Augments Ending:


Alright, Alright, I’ll be honest; I don’t think humanity should toss aside technology or augments entirely. But getting the truth out is the most important thing and if the Illuminati really do exist so prominently, they should be exposed.

Sure, the collapse of technology as we know it may not be all that desirable, but the truth is really important. You may say the truth hurts, the truth splits apart, but at the end of the day, the truth will set you free. 

(Boy, I sound like a preacher.)

So the Hugh Darrow ending gets two thumbs up from me, even if I might be a little reluctant to support him.

William Taggert/Augment Regulation Ending:


Alright, so this is actually what I would have wanted; Augmentation regulated so that people cannot simply just do what they want, and make sure it’s being used for a good purpose.

But why do I not think this is the best? Well, for a number of reasons; firstly, because you lie about there being a contamination of the rejection medicine shots, when there really was no contamination at all.

Secondly, because you are indirectly supporting the Illuminati and its counterparts, which is something, I would never do.

And thirdly, I don’t like Taggert. Simple as that.

So this ending gets one thumb up and one thumb down from me.

David Sarif/Supporting Augmentation:


You might be thinking: “Oh look…Another snob who wants to take away our freedom! Huh, moron…”

Well, no, I don’t want to take away your freedom, but I don’t want to support an ideology like Sarif’s who believes that we should use augmentation to become like gods, and that if some people are left behind, tough.

The whole thing about becoming as gods lets me think back the passage in the Bible where Satan tells Eve if she and Adam eat of it, they will become as gods. Not to mention, several times in history where men have tried to be as gods has led to severe conflict and chaos.

So, no. I’m sorry, but I can’t support a dangerous belief like Sarif’s. I don’t mean to preach, but that is just what I believe. So the Sarif ending gets two thumbs down.

Kill Yourself Ending:


Yes, seriously. What kind of an ending is that? I mean, you work hard all the way up to this point, being a robotic, bearded Action Man, and then just kill yourself and all the other people just so that nobody can spin the story. I mean, that’s like the guy who came home from the store with only one grocery bag:

“Oh no! I only have enough food for me and somebody else. What should I do?”

“I could share it with my aunt, I could share it with my sister, or I could share it with my dog.”

“Wait! I have an idea…”

Perfect, right?

Do you see my poorly illustrated point? Just take your pick, don’t kill yourself! Sheesh.

So the suicide ending gets two big thumbs down from me.

Alright, those are the endings. Now what are my afterthoughts? Well, the way you get to them is the problem, although the suicide ending is horrendous no matter how you try to sugar coat it.

But the rest of the endings are actually good, but not the way I would have wanted them. They still have the grey morality the whole game did so nicely, but the developers definitely got lazy and neglected the endings, something they should receive a slap for, considering how close this game gets to surpassing the original Deus Ex.

Speaking of which, how does it fair against the original Deus Ex? The original stays the best, but only just. Whereas the first one had consistently great storytelling, atmosphere and gameplay, Human Revolution has a more personal and relevant subject at its core.

Plus, it had better voice acting, something that the original did not have for the most part. I mean, the Hong Kong level? Sheesh. Were they so broke they couldn’t afford somebody that could actually make a decent Asian accent?

And last but not least, I think that Adam Jensen is a much better protagonist than JC Denton. I mean, Jensen’s personality actually has a bit of depth, whereas JC Denton is just a monotone door kicker.

So the original wins, but only just.


Well, there is not much for me to cover else that hasn’t been covered in the original review. So I think I’ll just have a short conclusion to wrap things up.


Deus Ex: Human Revolution is a game that definitely gives you your money’s worth. It’s got action, it’s got conspiracy theories, it’s got multiple playstyles, everything. Even with the flaws I so gleefully made light of, Deus Ex: Human Revolution is a worthy successor to the original, and worth it’s weight in gold.

Except for the boss fights, of course.

And the endings, naturally.

Oh, and let’s not forget the Adam & Megan storyline that was never fully resolved.

You know what? I’ll shut up now.

---End of review.

So, what did you guys think of it? Sure, it’s bit all over the place, a tad bit long, and hit or miss, but I sure had fun making it!

Please let me know if you guys like it. I will gladly make some more. Maybe of a certain game that starts with a COD???