June 27, 2012

KVR Archive: Team Fortress 2 FULL REVIEW

Team Fortress 2 is a 2007 game, released for the PC, Xbox 360, and Playstation 3. I will only be focusing on the PC version.

By the way, Team Fortress 2 is for free. You only need to register a Steam account, go to this page, press download, and there you go!

PLEASE NOTE: you might want to read my review first, before you start with the rather large download. 

PLEASE NOTE AGAIN: I did this review last minute, and as my Internet was not agreeing with me, I had to skip out on images. Still, the page I linked to above might provide you with some.

Areas of Concern:

This is a First Person Shooter, which is violent, but the cartoon art style keep the violence from being brutal.

With that said, this game is not recommended for children, and there are some words of caution I want to speak, before you go and download this game. 

I'll start with violence:

Violence: Many, many people are shot, bludgeoned, stabbed, blown up, and decapitated during the course of the game.

However, as I said, the cartoony art style, combined with the game's frantic pace, mean that the violence may be gross, but it passes by quickly.

But why don't I give you a rundown of what happens in a general game of TF2?

How people die in TF2:
  • SHOOTING: When people get shot, a small spray of blood is emitted, sometimes staining the environment. Enemy's yell in pain, and when shot enough, they fall over and die.
  • STABBING: When an enemy gets stabbed, they scream in pain, a small spray of blood is emitted, and they usually are flung across the room. Other times, they will cringe for a while, and fall over, dead.

  • SLICING/BLUDGEONING: When an enemy is chopped with an axe, machete, knife, or bludgeoned with a spade shovel, bat, or bottle, they emit a small spray of blood, yell in pain, and fall dead after enough hits.

  • EXPLOSIONS: When enemies are killed by rockets or other explosives, they yell briefly, and bloody pieces of them fly around the environment. This is less gruesome than it sounds, as it is ridiculously over the top.

  • DECAPITATIONS: Only happens with a specific type of weapon. When they are decapitated, they're head goes missing, and maybe even flies off their neck, and blood sprays from where the head used to be. This happens real quickly.

  • SNIPING/ARROWS: Enemies can be sniped; when you get a successful head shot, they cringe, and fall over. Enemies can also be shot with an arrow; the arrow sticks out of where they are shot, and if they are close to a wall, they get pinned to it when they die.

  • FIRE: Enemies can be set on fire. They are seen cringing as they are burning, and they yell in pain. After enough burning, they collapse dead.

Sex/Nudity: There are some drawings of scantily clad women, on some of the walls. These are never focused on, but they are there.

Sometimes, one of the characters makes a brief remark about one of the other characters being a virgin.

A man remarks briefly that he is "Off, to visit your mother!"

One character lifts up his crotch guard as a taunt, but we only see a smiley face on his pants.

Language: Uses of D**n, H**l, P**s, A*s, Bl***y, and C**p. God's name is used in vain infrequently.

Drugs/Alcohol/Smoking: A few of the characters are seen lighting up cigarettes. 

The demoman is a definite alcoholic, and he is implied to be drunk throughout the game based on his slurred speech and certain lines he says. You can take a swig from a bottle as a "taunt", and he references "scrumpy", which is an English cider.

(Special thanks to "jake" for pointing this out.)

Spiritual Content: On a few maps, there are overtones of Halloween. These are special maps for special occasions, and as such, can be avoided easily.

One of the weapons you can equip is named the Eyelander. When you equip it, you briefly hear a voice saying "heads". Could be a spiritual content concern, but if you don't equip the weapon, this does not happen.

One of the taunts for the Pyro class, has him performing a hadouken: He shoots a fireball from his hands.

This is more of a reference to the Street Fighter series, than a spiritual content concern.

Still, it's up to you about this. If you think it is, then don't perform the taunt when you have the shotgun equipped. You'll know what I mean.

Gross Stuff: One of the insults a character yells is something about "lactating wet nurse". Gross. (The "Demoman" is the one who utters this.)

That's about all the content! On to the review:

Review of Game:

Gameplay: Team Fortress 2 is a fast paced, high octane, and very fun game.

It revolves around two teams competing against each other. They fight in a variety of game modes, including:

Payload: One team tries to push an explosive cart to the opposing teams base, where it is detonated. The defending team must hold off the attackers until time runs out.

King of the Hill: Teams compete to capture one control point, (CP) and hold it as long as possible against the opposing team.

Control Point: Both teams try to capture as much CPs as possible.

Arena: Both teams compete for one control point, but there's a catch; die once, and you're out!

Capture the Flag: Both teams compete to steal briefcases from the opposing team's headquarters. Whoever steals the most, wins.

Attack/Defend: One team has a whole lot of control points, and tries to hold them against the opposing team.

All of these game modes are well made and fun. The game always has you coming back for more.

There is not a whole lot else to talk about, except for the classes, but since the game is free and the training does a good job of introducing you to them, I think I'll skip ahead to the audiovisual.....

Audiovisual: While not the best technically, the game's graphics distinguishes itself from the rest with a unique art style that draws inspiration from 60s pop art.

All the characters stand out, thanks to the cartoony art style, and it all lends to making the game more charming.

The voice acting is good, with all the actors delivering their lines perfectly, and they are all memorable.

Story: No story, sorry.

Well, that about covers it! Not much to say about this game, other than it's fun.

Time for the verdict!

  • Great Gameplay: The game is a fast paced, fun action game as soon as you start playing.
  • Very Good Audiovisual: The game's art style is fresh and unique, and the voice actors deliver perfectly on what is expected from their characters.
  • Enormous Replay Value: Believe me, you will keep coming back for more in this game.
  • Brief Bloody Violence: The violence is gory, but it happens really quickly and strays from being too brutal.
  • Infrequent Language: Hear and there you will hear something slip from your and other people's character's mouths.
  • Mild Suggestive themes: Some drawings of women, and rare mild sexual references.
  • Mild Drugs/Alcohol/Smoking: Some characters smoke, and a few mild references.
  • Mild Spiritual Content: On some maps, there is a Halloween theme going on, but you can easily avoid this by choosing another map.
  • Age 14 minimum!
So that's it from me! I hope the review didn't suffer from the fact that I did this last minute, and that it gave you some insight.
Now go play! I got some sleeping to do. :P

June 20, 2012

TOP SEVEN: Favourite Games

Hi everybody! How are you?

Oh, shouldn't have asked. Poor cat.

Anyway, what is my big mouth going to talk about today? My favourite games. Yep, you are going to know which games make me feel all warm and fuzzy when I play them.

I'll be honest with you, this list is hard. I know which are my favourites, but to put them in order?


But, I just decided, I will try.

So here, is my list of the top games of all time. Or for me at least, so if you want to take issue with a few of the entries, make your own list in the comments section. This is mine. MAKE YOUR OWN!

Just kidding! :P

Now onto the list!

(Just before I start, I would like to lay down my rules: The list of favourite games is based on the fact that I enjoyed playing these games the most, not because I think it's the highest quality, although these games ARE mostly high quality because of how picky I am.

I also decided to only include one game per series. I suggest you do the same if you want to make a list in the comment section. Please? Thanks. :P)

Team Fortress 2

Abbreviation, TF2. Hmm, yep. This game is a lot of fun. I remember how many hours I soaked into this game.....

....Because it is on my Steam profile:


Why did I play it so much? Maybe because of it's frantic, fast paced, energetic gameplay? Yes, definitely.

For those of you who don't know, Team Fortress 2 is based around two teams, both competing against each other to capture the most control points, (CPs) in order to win the game. Along the way is a lot of cartoony violence and very fast gameplay, which sets this one apart from the other multi-player games.

General TF2 Gameplay. Interesting, Huh?
You know this game is special, when I like it. (I usually don't like multi-player games.) After all, a game I spent nearly 400 hours in, is bound to be good. Seriously, I mean it. I usually don't play games THAT much.

But something about this game just draws me back. I don't know what, but it just goes to show how well the developers made this game. And they constantly support it, with thousands of free updates in the five years since the game hit the market.

I still don't why, but this is one of my favourites. (Probably for a few hundred hours more XD)

Medal Of Honor: Allied Assault

Okay, this game is a bit old. But, it is such a good game, despite the frustrating sections, that I just had to include it in this list.

Medal of Honor has gone through a lot of changes lately, most notably trying to compete with Call of Duty with it's 2010 installment. The one coming out later this year looks like it might be good, but back to the topic:

Allied Assault is a classic game. It will always remain that way. I mean, who could forget the opening section, with German troops blowing up an Ally's truck, thereby forcing you to go in a nearby town in northern Africa, guns blazing. Man!

Said mission.

Or infiltrating and scuttling a German submarine, disguised as one of their troops whilst amusing yourself shooting Nazis in the next room and coming out like nothing happened, with the guards none the wiser. Man!

Or storming the Omaha beach front, with heavy machine gun fire crashing into objects (And troops) all around you, and getting into the bunker and taking out the German soldiers, who inadvertently blow themselves up when they throw grenades at you. Man!

Or walking very slowly through a ghost town, with snipers everywhere and-AH COME ON! HOW COULD I SEE THAT GUY!?!?!? SERIOUSLY!?!?!?

Yes, later on in the game, it loses the fun factor, and just becomes frustrating. It still is a good game, but it feels like the freshness tapers off towards the end.

But, for what it is, it's still very good. I highly recommend it, if you can get over the 10 year jump back in time.

....And that stupid sniper town section. >:'(

Call Of Duty 4: Modern Warfare

"But Kyle! Call of Duty is overrated!" Yes, you're right, Call of duty is overrated, but why do you think that is? Because of the stellar fourth installment in the franchise, which took the series in fresh and new direction.

It was not an innovation by any chance, but it sure was a great game. 

Believe me, it's stellar single-player is not forgettable, with it's scripted sequences, solid (although cliche) story, stunning set-pieces, and a fun multi-player to top it off.  

The game's opening; a perfect first level.
This game led to a whole line of imitators, (Medal of Honor, as I mentioned earlier.) but none of them got it quite right like COD4. If you haven't played it yet, well then what are you waiting for? 

Don't look up spoilers, as they only ruin the experience.

Instead, witness the (Short but sweet) campaign free of any expectations, except to be thrilled, and you will be gratified. Great game, I highly recommend it!


Haven't heard of it?

Not surprised. MDK2, released year 2000 for the PC and Playstation, was a critical success, but not a commercial one. As such, it faded into obscurity. A real pity, as this was actually a very good game, filled with creative ideas and imagination.

Oh, did I mention it was made by BioWare? The same people who later made Mass Effect, was behind this underrated gem. They definitely did a great job.

I mean, you play as three different characters, and every one has a fresh and unique playstyle. And you play through a couple of sections, filled with creativity, and not to mention a lot of difficulty.

MDK 2 is known as one of the hardest games ever made, and it certainly shows. There are a few sections where you just want to pull your hair out, so this is not a game for the short tempered.

(Well, with technology, ANYBODY is short tempered.)

So all in all, a solid, challenging, but fun, underrated classic.

Play it. NOW!

Deus Ex: Human Revolution
(Daniel, this game is great. Shush.)

This may shock some people, but I actually prefer Human Revolution to the original Deus Ex, even if I think the latter's story is better.

Why do I prefer it, besides the fact that you have the ability to smack random police officers silly?

^^That's actually what I do all the time. XD
Because of the atmosphere. Human Revolution shows a world on the edge of chaos, with people everywhere debating an important advance in modern science. The advance, where man merges with machine.

Yep, a little nugget for you conspiracy lovers out there, Transhumanism!

Oh, and not to mention the Illuminati and FEMA camps, of course.

Besides the conspiracy theories that make me giggle with glee, what else do I like about this game? The gameplay is solid, and presents you with a lot of ways to go about your business. From stealthy hacker, to full on demolitions assault guy, Human Revolution is tailor made for multiple play-styles.

The story is very well laid out, even if the endings are less than satisfactory.

As I said, I admire the writers commitment to their work, because I recently started to write stories, so I know, it's hard work man!

I don't think there is more to say about this game than I have already in my review for it, so I will just sum it up; a satisfying, deep gaming experience, with a generally good story and a lot of re-playability.


Yeah, yeah, I know. Half-Life 2 has been done to death in best game lists, but it deserves it. Half-Life 2 is an atmospheric, serious, but ultimately compelling and memorable experience from beginning to end.

It is one of the most finely crafted games I have ever played. From the beginning on the train station, with you soaking up the Orwellian atmosphere of City 17.

To the dark corners of creepy Ravenholm, to the unearthly core of the Citadel, Half-Life 2 is never a Hollywood action movie, but it somehow manages to hold your attention from beginning to end.

The subtlety of the game is what makes it work. I'm not one of those people who scream for "Realism!" in a work of fiction, but the fact that Half-Life 2 is about an alien invasion, where they successfully occupied earth, and the game never veers off into far-fetched territory just helps keep you immersed in the game's atmosphere.

Dog iz not amused by your dislike of his game.
Now some people might not like this game, because of it's subtle storyline and lack of melodrama. Don't worry, nobody's perfect. But  hopefully I can make you understand:

Half-Life 2 is more of an experience, than a story. It's all about being as real to the player as possible. When you think of it that way, it works. Seriously.

Why don't I bring up an example of a movie that only appeals to a select audience, 2001: A Space Odyssey;

(Note, I don't recommend the movie for everyone. Watch it with discernment. If that sounds dirty, it's not. :P It's just that I'm not sure about the undertones of the movie.)

If you try to watch it and expect it to be like an ordinary movie, (With explosions, love, and kittens.) you'll be severely disappointed, and most likely want to turn the movie off when it cuts to the slow space flights underscored with classical music.

Yeah, it's one of 'those' movies.

But if you watch as an experience, one where you simply watch without expectations, you will most likely enjoy the movie, and like the sequence where the apes apparently find out how to use weapons. (Yes, it's got evolutionary undertones. I think. :P)

You will probably enjoy the space flight which lasts for TWENTY minutes, all set to the Blue Danube Waltz.

You will probably also enjoy the strange computer, who sings a children's song as he is shut down.

You will probably also like the surreal space flight, where it looks like-

Um, if you don't see it coming, it will make the moment where it happens even more perplexing.

And you will probably also like the ending, even if it completely re-wires your brain with confusion. Seriously, your head will hurt. :D

So basically, you'll like it if you don't mind getting really confused. And if you're patient. And weird like me. :P

BUT ENOUGH OF THE MOVIE, back to Half-Life 2:

(Sorry, but it is my favourite movie of all time. What can I say? I have strange tastes. XD)

So what I'm saying is, play the game as an experience. When you see all the praise heaped upon it, don't interpret that to mean that this game has a lot of intense, exciting sequences, which it does have, but in it's own way.

Oh, and remember; don't play through Ravenholm in the dark. Trust me.

AND NOW, For my favourite game of all time!

I-War 2: Edge of Chaos

Yes, a game you've most likely never heard of, is my favourite game of all time.

Independence War 2: Edge of Chaos was released in 2001 for the PC to critical acclaim, but it tanked commercially. For what reason, I do not know, as this was actually a very good game, with a memorable atmosphere.

Which is what always drags me back for some reason. The atmosphere. In space. Irony, huh? Oh, right. Don't get it. Never mind.

Gameplay. In space.
The story of Edge of Chaos revolves around a man named Cal Johnston, who witnesses his father's murder at the hands of Caleb Mass, a tyrannical leader hellbent on domination.  Of space.

I don't know, it makes sense to him.

Anyways, the game itself has a good story, even if it's lacks the depth or re-playability of something like Mass Effect or something.

But the atmosphere is well thought out, even if the game suffers from a bit of....loneliness. As in, there doesn't seem to be that much happening. Like, you get to a space station, and you can't really talk to anybody, unless it's on a mission.

I guess that's why some people today might want to overlook it, because it pales in comparison to games like Freelancer or Mass Effect.

But it really should not be, I mean, come on! 

(Warning: Gushy Fanboy love coming up.)

This game is beautiful. Some games look great for their time periods, and then they age. But this game, keeps looking beautiful. Sure, it has aged, but the art style just sucks you in, and it's hard not to sit and stare at the beauty of Hoffer's Wake.

Oh, and the gameplay is fun. Sure, it can be punishing, and you might break a few monitors in rage, but at the end of the day, it's just worth it.

Especially if you head over to GOG and purchase this game for a mere 6 dollars! I mean, that's a good deal!

So here's my advice to you if you decide to purchase this game:

Play this game as something you do when you come home from a hard day of work. The space atmosphere is real pretty for a game this old, and it's very relaxing.

And it just makes me happy, as it transports me back to my days as a little kid. Not a care in the world, and just always having fun with any game, no matter how mad it makes me.

Now, I'm still a little kid, especially when it comes to not getting my cookies, but this game just reminds of a time period I wish I could go back to. 

Unfortunately, I can't. And you shouldn't obsessively hold onto it, but it's just great looking back at good times, am I right?

Oh, wait. Forgot about the cat. Sorry.

In any case, this game is so nice, that I started off writing this post, with this as my number 3 favourite game of all time, until I realized just how much this game means to me. Which is why I made the painful decision to move it ahead of Half-Life 2.

(Sorry Gordon. I mean, I love you and all, but this is one girl I love more.

Game. It's a game, not a girl. Totally a game.

Don't know why I said that, since they are miles apart.

Believe me, it's totally not a girl. Absolutely not.

Anyways, there wouldn't be a girl I would-BACK TO THE GAME! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?)

Please, check it out! It's very underrated, and deserves a second chance. It needs it! And it will really make me happy if this game gains a newfound popularity, even if just for the beautiful art style.

Great game. Totally worth the low price you can get for.

So there you have it! Quite unexpected, especially for me. I didn't bank on Edge of Chaos taking top spot, but it's just the truth.

I hope you enjoyed reading this list, as much as I enjoyed making it. Please comment and make your own list, and don't forget to subscribe. It helps me out a lot! :)

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a few games to go reinstall. 

Until next time, Kyle out!

June 16, 2012


Wazzup everyone? Nothing?

Oh, okay. ANYWAYS!

This is just a short update to let whoever cares know, I won't have review up on Wednesday.

BUT, I will definitely have a BLOG post up then, in it's place. The reason why I'm not doing a review is because my internet is quite slow, and the game in question is one I have to watch.

And I need to go to sleep earlier. The internet does not help in that regard, because I'm too busy looking at pictures.

.....of kitty cats.

Nope. U shud have instaled dat inapropriate content blocker. Sorryz

So this is my message to you: No review on Wednesday, no problem. I will have one up NEXT Wednesday.

And cookies.

June 13, 2012

KVR Archive: Splinter Cell: Conviction FULL REVIEW

Splinter Cell: Conviction is the fifth main installment in the Splinter Cell franchise. Conviction was released in 2010.

Please note: This review is Single Player only. There are some more concerns in Co-op, but I’m not going to get to those as I haven’t played Co-op. This review will be updated when I have.

Areas of Concern:

Violence: This game is a stealth action shooter. Whereas in previous installments you could take enemies out non-lethally, in this game there are sections where violent confrontation is inevitable. But how graphic is the violence? Let’s find out:

Enemies can be shot; you see a small spray of blood emitting, and a small amount of blood spattering on the environment. Enemies yell when shot. If you shoot them in the head, a small bullet wound, which looks like a small patch of blood, can be seen where you shot them.

You can take enemies out at close range; your character punches them, snaps necks with crack, and even shoots them at close range. These moments are violent, but happen very quickly. Your character kicks and shoots them in the crotch some of the time.

You can also grab enemies, and use them as human shields. When they are shot, blood sprays. When you’re done with them, you can either throw them through doors, shattering it.

Or you could throw them, bash their heads against objects, with a brief blood spray, and bash their heads into walls, blood spattering on it. 

Or you could just snap their necks, with a muffled crack.

You can take enemies out with explosives; the enemies are sent flying, or collapse. No dismemberment occurs.


One of the more violent and inevitable scenes are interrogations; your character grabs their throats, and slams them into objects in order to extract information from them. However, the moments of inflicting pain happen quickly, even if they are violent.

I will list what happens in these moments: 

-Your character kicks open the door of a bathroom, sending the guy behind stumbling backwards into a wall, splattering a bit of blood on it. The man pulls out his gun; your character slaps it away, hits him through the face with it, blood dripping from his nose, and then grabs his throat.

You can slam him into three objects; a toilet’s wooden door, a urinal, and a mirror with a sink.

When you choose the toilet door, your character hits the man’s head against it, and then as falls down, gives him a knee to the face. Blood splatters on the door, and drips from his nose.

When you choose the urinal, your character rams the man’s head into it, and then punches head through it again. Blood spatters and the urinal shatters.

When you choose the mirror with a sink, your character rams his head into the mirror, the man falls down onto the sink, and then your character punches his head through it. Blood spatters on the mirror and sink, and the sink shatters.

After you’re done interrogating him, the man squeezes the man’s throat hard. A crack is heard, but it is not known if the man dies.

-Your character grabs a man, and then you can interrogate him three ways; a piano, a table, and threatening to throw him out a window.

If you choose the piano, your character punches him, he lands on the piano keys, and your character punches him through the keys, blood spattering.

If you choose a table, your character will punch him, and then slam his head against the table. Blood spatters.

If you choose the window, your character will try to push him out of it, and then pull him back in.

After all of this, your character punches him, bit of blood, and then holds a gun to his head.

-Although not an interrogation, there is another part that involves somebody being slapped around; a woman tells a man he has to make his escape look convincing, so she tells him to hit her. She hits him first, and then he grabs her, and slaps her. Twice. She is a bit bruised afterwards.

-There is a part where you can do interrogations on a few enemies. You can only smack them into objects, with a bit of blood. Your character snaps their necks when he’s done. These are milder than the rest of the examples.

-You grab a man, and you can interrogate him using a bunch of TVs, a sound board, a metal fence, or a stack of sound tuners.

If you choose the TVs, your character will give him a knee to the face, and slam his head into a TV, blood spattering on it.

If you choose the stack of sound tuners, your character will throw him against it, and punch multiple times. Blood spatters on the sound tuners.

If you choose the fence, your character slams his head against it, and blood spatters.

If you choose the sound board, your character throws him against it, kicks him between his legs, and slams his head against the board, blood spattering.

The man is shot after the interrogation. Blood sprays, and is seen on his suit.

-A man is punched hard by your character, and then sent spinning, and hits a table, blood spattering.

Your character kicks the man off a floor. The man lands on a hard table, cracking it.

You can then interrogate him using a widescreen TV, a table, and a flag.

If you choose the TV, your character slams his head against it, blood spattering.

If you choose the table, your character hits the man’s head against it, blood spattering.

If you choose the flag, your will punch the man, break a piece of the flag off, and stab the man in the shoulder with it. Blood spatters and the man yells in pain.

When you’re done, your character tears away his hand from the man’s throat, a snap being heard. He lives, however.

-A man can be interrogated using an overturned fridge, a tree stump, and an abandoned pickup truck.

If you first choose the fridge, your character will throw the man against it, and punch him once, hard.

If you first choose the tree stump, your character will hit the man’s head against it, blood spattering.

If you first choose the pickup truck, your character will kick the man over on his front, and while he’s lying in front of the car’s grill, kick his head against it, with blood spattering.

If you choose any of the three above objects on the third time you are supposed to hit him, your character will try to punch the man, the man counters and swings out a knife, which your character grabs and stabs the man throw the hand with, pinning him to the object. Blood spatters and the man yells in pain.

-You grab a man’s throat. When he’s done talking, you shoot him in both kneecaps, blood spraying, and he yells in pain.

-You have the option of hitting or shooting a man. If you choose to hit him, your character whips him with a pistol, blood spattering. If you choose to hit him again when prompted, same thing.

If you choose to shoot him, your character shoots him in the shoulder at point blank range, blood spraying and a bullet hole is seen. 

If you choose to shoot him again when prompted, your character shoots him in the other shoulder, blood spraying and a bullet hole is seen again.

You can then to choose to spare him, or shoot him. If you choose to shoot him, blood sprays, and a bullet hole is seen. If you choose to spare him, he is shot by somebody else anyways.

Storyline violence:

The game also features other inevitable violent moments, a few brought on by the player's character:

Some footage of a man firing several gunshots into a man, off-screen.

A man suddenly shoots a man three times in the torso, blood spraying, and blood patches showing where he has been shot.

A man suddenly steps on a mine, which explodes. No dismemberment occurs. A man crawls around afterwards, and is gunned down by an enemy soldier, blood spraying.

A man wakes up, blood underneath him. He then walks through a highway where a massacre occurred; dead bodies lie around, and there is a moderate amount of blood everywhere.

A man is tortured by electrical shock; he convulses, sparks are seen, and the man cries out in pain. He is also punched by another man repeatedly. The man has some blood on him afterwards, and blood is seen leaking from his nose.

A rocket suddenly hits a building and explodes. Nobody is killed.

A man is shot twice in the chest by a man, blood spraying. Another man shoots him twice as well.

A bunch of innocent people get shot. The place has a moderate amount of blood spatters, and you see a few dead bodies with some gruesome looking bullet wounds. You see a few of them getting shot. Blood sprays.

A man is suddenly zapped by a device. He is first electrocuted, and then dies whilst on fire. He screams whilst being electrocuted.

A man briefly holds a hostage, whilst pointing a gun to said hostage’s head. He suddenly shoots the hostage, blood spattering.

A man sits in a car, which suddenly explodes. If you look at the car, you can see his burnt body sitting in the chair. This is seen from a distance.

A man hits, and threatens to kill a woman. He doesn’t.

A helicopter fires at a man, and is then shot down by another helicopter, an explosion being seen.

A missile suddenly hits a helicopter, which then spins out of control and crashes.

A lot of people are seen after a large bomb went off. They are bruised and bloodied.

There are a few paramedics attempting CPR on a woman.

A car explodes; a man is thrown across the street, and lies there, bloodied.

A car suddenly explodes, and it is stated a woman was inside. The woman’s husband is held back as screams and tries to get to her. 

Another man becomes bloodied and collapses dead as soon as the car explodes.

In one scene, a whole lot of innocent people have been shot. You can see a lot of dead people are lying in blood puddles, and have bullet wounds. 

You see a few of these people quickly getting shot, blood sprays. Screams are heard as some people are being shot.

A still frame fly-through of people who have been shot in the head; the blood is frozen in mid-air with them, and bullet holes are seen.

A woman shoots a man in the shoulder. A bullet hole is seen.

Sex/Nudity: Verbal references only, at least in Single Player.

A few men break into a house. They are frustrated when they find nothing of value, but one man adds: “…The lady that lives here is 'hot'. Maybe we can wait for her to come home” Another man says: “Take it out in a trade?” Previous guy says: “Now you’re talking…” 

Nothing happens.

A man and a woman discuss their plans for the following week. the man mentions he knows that the woman wants to go shopping. The woman mentions she doesn’t want to clutter up the hotel, because they have “better things” to be doing in the room. The man says he likes the way she’s thinking. 

These two are random civilians, so you probably won’t even overhear this conversation unless you’re going around listening to people talking.

Sometimes, when your character slams a character into an object, he says: “Yeah, you’re going to have to pay for sex now…” 


A man, over a loud speaker, yells at your character, and calls his daughter a whore. Your character is not amused.

An enemy insults you: “Whatcha doing, admiring some panties?”

A man says to his torturer: “Go f*** yourself. I’ll be here when you’re done.”

Now, even though this is a single-player only review, I will note something about Co-op; apparently you go into a club, filled with scantily clad dancers. 

This scene is suggestive, but it doesn't last for long as far as I know. You have to do the research in this category, as I don't really have people to play Co-op with me and thereby allow me to review that category.

So this is up to you.

Language: Frequent Strong Language:

(If you’re turned off by swearing, I suggest you skip this game.)

Uses of F**k, with its variants, (Motherf***er, f*** yourself) uses of S**t, with its variants, (Bulls***) and uses of other words like A**h*le, B**t**d, B**ch, D**n, H**l, C**p, P***k, D**k, B**ls, and P***y. 

C**ks***er is used, but the scene is muffled, so you don’t hear it clearly. Unless you have subtitles on, then you can know exactly what he is saying.

Semi-Frequent uses of God and Jesus name occur.

Drugs/Alcohol/Smoking: A few frank verbal references, and some boxes you kick over emit a white powder, probably drugs.

A man is said to use drugs a lot. Several of henchmen mention and make jokes about it; two men discuss him getting a shipment of drugs, saying he’s powdering his nose.

A man says that he’s going through a lot of stress right now, and then says it would explain all the drug use, whilst imitating the sound of somebody sniffing drugs.

Two men discuss the man having ordered a shipment of drugs; they mention he eats them like candy. They mention which he ordered; blow, oxycontin, horse tracks. They mention he gets high when he’s nervous.

You later meet the man. He acts aggressively, and rubs his nose, implying he has been using drugs recently.

Spiritual Content: Nothing that I could pick up.

Gross Stuff: A man asks a man if a building’s exterior shielding is tight. The man replies: “Tighter than a drill sergeant's a**h*le.”

Alright, that's the content! I will have a short conclusion about it after the review.

Speaking of which:

Review of Game:

Splinter Cell is back, and better than ever?

Let's find out:

Gameplay: The gameplay of Splinter Cell: Conviction differs from previous installments, but the fundamental basics of hiding in shadows and taking out enemies silently remains. 

What HAS changed is the pace; instead of being a slow, methodical, middle-aged man with a gravelly voice, you are now fast, methodical, middle-aged man with a gravelly voice.

Is the change for the better? Yes. It actually is. And you are listening to a guy who was a huge fan of the original Splinter Cell's, Chaos Theory in particular.

Why for the better? Because it feels more like you are a smart, ruthless operative, instead of a slow vulnerable, bumbling old man who seems to be just scary enough to make a dumb guard talk. Now, if I was on the opposite team against THIS guy.....That, would be a scary game.

But enough of my gushy fanboy love, how does this game play?

You are a guy, hiding in the shadows, taking out enemies silently, and quickly.

I know. It doesn't sound that exciting, but if you start playing this game.....You will soon discover just how good it is.

There are a lot of ways to take care of enemies, Mark and Execute being one of them. Mark and Execute is all about tagging a few enemy targets, waiting your moment, and then taking them out with one push of a button. It sounds like it makes the game easy, but do not be mistaken, the game is very challenging.

This image is the closest to Mark and Execute I could find. Thanks IGN, you're useless as always. :P

The Mark and Execute mode has to be used well, otherwise you will only succeed in drawing enemy attention to your location, which you don't want.

Thus, it requires timing, patience, precision, and a whole lot of cookies. Or something.

In conclusion, the gameplay of Splinter Cell: Conviction, has taken the old games, and breathed new life into them. I highly recommend it, if the content passes the Jesus approval test for you.


What is the story about? It's about a man named Sam Fisher, who is looking for the man who killed his daughter, and inadvertently stumbles upon a conspiracy to blow America up. (Once again.)

And only Sam can save the day. Which leads to a lot of maimed enemies, of course.

The story itself, just doesn't seem to 'pop'. It always seems like it's never really going to turn into something unique, and it's actually is only a way for the gameplay to shine, and it's not very satisfying.

One exception to that, however, is when Sam goes back to his old HQ, and finds out the truth about everything. I will say no more than that, but I will say that the scene where he finds out the 'truth' is probably my favourite moment in the Splinter Cell series. Seriously, it's subtle, but it's good.

But one scene does not make up for the rest of the story, and I have to say, yeah, the story was okay enough. But it was definitely nothing special.


I like the art style of the game. It overlays text and video on the surrounding environment, to tell you the story, without taking you out of the experience.

Besides the art style, the game engine itself holds up well, but it does suffer from a bit of graininess and plastic facial animations, which is a bit distracting when characters are talking and their faces aren't moving properly.

Otherwise, the voice acting is very good, with the whole cast delivering their lines well.

So in the audiovisual department, it is a success.

Alright, what is the conclusion? Well, I did make a conclusion page for all the reviews, which you probably clicked on above, but I just want to add one or two things:

Splinter Cell: Conviction contains strong language, and graphic, but very brief violence. As I said in the page above, it is up to you to pray and decide about it.

Your choice for purchasing a game, lies between you and Jesus, not me.

  • Great Gameplay: Die-hard fans might miss the gameplay of old, but Splinter Cell: Conviction includes it's own unique take on the series, and it does it very well. Don't miss it.
  • Lackluster Story: The story was okay enough, but it was nothing special. The level where Sam finds out the truth is quite good, though.
  • Good Audiovisual: The game has it's own unique art style, plus the game engine holds up, despite the facial animations. The voice acting is very good, and it has no complaints in my mind.
  • Graphic Brief Bloody Violence: The violence is brutal, with neck snappings, shootings, bludgeonings, and interrogations making this unsuitable for children. But it all happens quickly, so that is to be noted.
  • Frequent Strong Language: You can't go through this game and not hear language. And the language you hear, is strong. Up to you in this category.
  • Rare Moderate Sexual References: At least in the single-player, there is only a reference here and there. Co-op may be an issue.
  • Moderate Drug/Alcohol/Smoking References.
  • Age 15 minimum!
So that is it for my Splinter Cell: Conviction review! Please forgive me if I sound a bit pressed on time, but I wanted to get this review up for Wednesday, which is my usual review date.

If I made a mistake, don't hesitate to notify me, and I will speedily fix it!

Until Next time, Kyle out! 

Oh, and one more thing: COMMENT, SUBSCRIBE, TWITTER, FACEBOOK, GOOGLE+ THIS PAGE. Please, it helps me out a lot. :P